"Black Bush" (April 14, 2004)
- Bush: After carefully examining the region me and my cabinet agree that that area is definitely ripe for regime change...but if I can be real about it?
Ashcroft: Be real, son.
Ashcroft: Yo be real real, son.
Bush: He tried to kill my father, man. I don't play that shit!
Ashcroft: Yo say word he tried to kill your father, son.
Bush: (grabbing boom mike from above): THE NIGGA TRIED TO KILL MY FATHER!!
- Bush: (referring to the UN) UN, you get problem with that. You know what you should do. You should sanction me. Sanction me with your army. Oh! wait a minute! You don't have an army! So I guess that means you need to shut the fuck up! That's what would I do if I don't have an army, I would shut the fuck up. (leans towards microphones on the podium) Shut. The. Fuck. UP!. That's right! Kofi Annan, I ain't takin' orders from an African. You might speak sixteen languages, but you gonna need them when you in Times Square selling fake hats.
- Bush: I got a coalition of the willing. I got 40 nations ready to roll, son!
Reporter: Like who?
Bush: Who the fuck said that? Huh? Huh? Like who? England. Japan's sending Playstations. Stankonia said they are willing to drop bombs over Baghdad. Riggity Row is coming. Afrika Bambaataa and the Zulu Nation. So, I'm not doing this by myself, and I'm not disrespecting the UN, even though they don't got no army. Go sell some medicine, bitches! I'm trying to get that oil...[coughs, trying to cover up saying oil] hole!
- Bush: (Asked about the war if it's about Oil) What? Huh? Oil? Who said anything about oil bitch, you cooking? Oil?
(tips and spills the water pitcher onto the table)* Run!