Chocolate

[video=youtube;VoccbDV5NOI]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VoccbDV5NOI[/video]


DISCLAIMER: This is a martial arts film. It is also free to watch online with an Amazon Prime subscription.

I didn't start this movie with very high expectations, so I was surprised to see it's actually pretty good. I'd seen a YouTube clip of a fight scene from the movie (where the main character is fighting the kid in the Adidas sweatsuit from the trailer above) on cracked.com, and even though it was good, I still wasn't expecting much. It's directed by Prachya Pinkaew, the guy who directed Ong-Bok, the film that made Tony Jaa popular in America. I didn't realize that until I started the movie. It stars a Thai girl named either JeeJa Yanin, Yanin Mitananda, or Yanin Vismitananda... I'm not sure how the whole Siamese name-thing works.

In case you haven't seen Ong-Bok, what this implies is crazy ridiculous fight scenes that make Jackie Chan look like an amateur.

What's-her-name plays a girl named either "Zen" or "Zin", I'm not sure. I think it's Zen. Her mother's name is Zin. Or vice versa. ANYWAYS. Mom is a Yakuza enforcer of some sort for a boss named "No. 8" (according to the Wikipedia page; I don't think they ever say his name in the dubbed version I watched), and like his lover or something. A Japanese Yakuza boss-guy moves in on their turf or something and there is a standoff and No. 8 has a bunch of transvestites and... look, I don't know. Some shit goes down with some dudes dressed like chicks and they have guns and shit. Japanese dude hooks up with Zin and No. 8 gets pissed, so Japanese dude goes back to Japan at Zin's insistence. Thai movies are apparently as weird as their naming conventions.

Zin becomes pregnant with Japanese dude's baby, and leaves the whole gangster thing to go live with her daughter Zen, who turns out to be autistic. Zen spends her free time staring at nothing or lining up M&Ms, which is I guess where the name "Chocolate" comes from. When she isn't arranging them in rows, she also comes up with some ridiculously creative ways to eat M&Ms. She has incredible situational awareness and reflexes, and the ability to learn stuff by watching. When she is young, she lives next to a kickboxing school, and learns kickboxing by watching the boys practice (and by kicking the shit out of some wooden thing).

In her teens or twenties (they never really say), her mother is diagnosed with cancer. While Zin is in the hospital, Zen's childhood friend/cousin/roommate/shrug Mike (?) discovers a notebook among Zin's things with a list of people who owe her money. Rather, they owe the Yakuza money, but Mike doesn't realize that, since he doesn't know Zin's past. Mike and Zen go to one of the people on the list to try to collect money to pay for Zin's chemotherapy, which turns out about how you'd expect. Fat kid and autistic kid trying to collect Yakuza money from some gangster... yeah. BUT! Zen grew up by that kickboxing school and has seen the movie Ong-Bok (seriously, they show her watching it) and played a lot of video games. After getting beat up a little bit, Zen puts 2 and 2 together and comes up with "kick ass". She beats up all the people and collects the debt. Mike takes Zen around to a few places on the list, and of course, nobody wants to pay up, but they all think it would be pretty swell to beat up a fat kid and an autistic girl, so of course, Zen kicks the crap out of everybody.

No. 8 is not cool with people collecting money that is actually his, so the transvestites show up and people get shot and stabbed and some other crazy shit goes down that ends with Japanese dude returning to Thailand, Zin and Mike getting taken hostage, and Zen fighting, like, a hundred guys. If you saw Ong-Bok, you know this is not really hyperbole. Predictable stuff happens, and there is a big climactic fight scene... and then another one... and then another one... and then another one. And then, because this movie is directed by Prachya Pinkaew, there are one or two more huge fight scenes involving half of Thailand, and then the predictable ending.

If I spoke Siamese and watched the original version, I'm sure the movie would be even better, but the dubbed version was really a lot more than I was expecting. It's got some halfhearted attempts at being artsy and sentimental at some points, and almost succeeds. It's close enough, considering it's a martial arts film. JeeJa Yanin or whatever is pretty cute for a sweaty girl with a crazy look in her eye, so that helped too. I'm not sure how accurate her portrayal of an autistic girl is, especially since it's dubbed, but I didn't feel offended or shocked or anything like I'd expected I would be after watching the clip with the Adidas kid (he's got something wrong with him; he's all twitchy and making strange noises, and he uses capoeira, which is Brazillian breakdancing kung fu, so that whole scene is kind of... out there).

During the credits they show a bunch of outtakes where pretty much the entire crew suffers enough injury to make this film a violation of human rights.

Here's another, longer trailer, with horribly translated subtitles like "watch her every moves". You can watch the whole movie on YouTube in parts, until it gets noticed and taken down.

[video=youtube;Axf_EXzF_qM]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Axf_EXzF_qM[/video]