Offensive Pantyhose

TITLE: Offensive pantyhose (1/1)
DISTRIBUTION STATEMENT: It’s all good! Just tell me where.
SPOILER WARNING: sixth season to Milagro
RATING: Mostly harmless
SUMMARY: “I bet you’re thinking sexual harassment.”
Slowly she murmured. “That was sexual, Mulder, but it sure wasn’t
AUTHOR NOTES: Think a man has ever worn Control Top? We should've
burned them with the bras...RISE UP WOMEN!
DISCLAIMER: Property of 1013 productions.

Offensive Pantyhose

FBI Building, Washington D.C.
Early AM

It was simple, the question he asked, to the point and specific in
nature. Just five little words.

Scully had walked into their office on a Tuesday morning, and with a
smile greeted Mulder. She turned to hang up her jacket and when she
turned around, he was looking at her legs. Scully looked down at her
shoes then back up at Mulder.

“What?” She asked.

Mulder flicked his eyes up, smiling a small grin. He shook his head
and put his oral fixation to work on a No. 2 pencil. Scully looked at
her square toed chunky heeled shoes again. She was wearing a knee
length burgundy skirt with a matching jacket. She had taken to wearing
colors other than the black she had been sporting as of late. “What,
Mulder? Do I not match?”


She frowned. ‘What, I walk in the door, he stares at my shoes and then
he doesn’t know what I’m talking about?’ She paused, thinking to
herself, ‘Why the hell do I care?’ With that she walked around to her
desk and set her purse on it. That’s when she heard something roll off
the table.

Another pencil.

She bent down to retrieve it, and that’s when he asked, “Why do you
wear pantyhose?”

“What?” Scully half turned, giving him an incredulous look. He still
had the pencil in his hand, but was now tapping it gently on his lips.
An altogether erotic sight, one she appreciated whenever she was privy
to them. His tongue came out and touched the tip of the eraser.

“Why do you wear pantyhose?”

The question sank in. “Because I’m wearing a skirt.” She gave it a
little more thought. “Because I have to wear pantyhose, Mulder.” He
looked down at her legs again. Scully followed his eyes, and then she
shook her head. “What’s wrong with you, Mulder? Is this leading up to
something?” She mentally kicked herself at her words.

“Nothing’s wrong.” He reached into the top, right hand drawer of his
desk and took out a manual. Mulder opened the book as he stood up.

Scully strained to see the book. Mulder closed it on his finger and
flashed the cover to her. “Dress code?” Her eyebrows crinkled in
confusion. He flipped a couple of pages and found a passage. Handing
her the book, he leaned back and watched her read where he had pointed
to on the page.

Scully’s eyes flicked side to side reading quickly. “See it?” He
asked. Scully’s expression smoothed out to a wry grin. “It doesn’t
say you have to wear them. Not specifically.” She shrugged; her
expression changed from humored to annoyed.

“Woman just do, Mulder.”

“Why though, I mean really? Have you really given it thought?”

“No, not nearly as much as you have, apparently.” She finished
pursuing through the book when she felt his hands on her. He had
grabbed her by the waist and set her down on top of her desk. “MULDER!
What the hell?”

Mulder held up a finger silencing her, then reached for her feet. He
slowly took one shoe off, then the other, resisting the urge to tickle
her small little feet. Then he reached for the hem of her
skirt. “Wait a goddamn second, Mulder!” But made no move to stop
him. Instead she had a sudden thought. ‘This must be a finale of

He had started his invasion of her personal space since almost day one.
The touching of her back, the close talking…Mulder was definitely a
close talker. Waking her up during a stakeout with the brush of his
fingers, not a normal shove of the shoulder like she would do to him.
Everything about the way he communicated with her was a seduction.

A quietly fought, exhilarating seduction. ‘Not that I minded’, she
told herself. ‘What’s a little fluff between friends?’ Mulder
continued to run his fingers up from her knees, to underneath her
skirt. Her eyes could not believe what she was seeing, much less
feeling. She chanced a quick look at Mulder to see him intent on his
job at hand, so to speak. As hands disappeared underneath her skirt,
he brushed his fingers past her thighs, higher and higher up.

She wondered suddenly, ‘Am I wearing underwear?’ Shaking her head she
realized what he was doing. Mulder had moved in between her legs,
kneeling down a little, not enough to see up, but enough to get good
leverage as his forearms followed his hands up the uncharted country.
She felt his fingers all the way at the top of her pantyhose, and he
started to strip them off her.

That’s when he looked at her.

The painful assault on her by Padgett’s henchman was nothing compared
to what she was feeling in her chest now, just looking into Mulder’s
dark eyes. He slowly pulled the offensive pantyhose over her hips,
down her legs, and over her feet. He looked around, then threw the
nylons into the wastebasket. Reaching for her shoes, he slowly put
them back on.

Standing back, he admired his handy work. “I bet you’re thinking
sexual harassment.”

Slowly she murmured. “That was sexual, Mulder, but it sure wasn’t
harassment.” She looked down at her legs.

“Now isn’t that more comfortable?”

I’ve always thought less was always better, Mulder.”

Scully noticed he was still in-between her legs. She resisted the urge
to lean back, and instead she pushed him forward a bit with her left
hand. Scully slowly slid off the desk. Mulder watched as the motion
pushed her skirt higher. She saw him swallow, his Adam’s apple

With one fluid motion she smoothed her skirt down. “Thanks for showing
me that, Mulder.” She was unnecessarily close. Their bodies were
pressed up against each other and maybe, just maybe if the trash can
were closer, they could set the contents of it on fire with the looks
they were giving each other. Scully reached up with her hand and gave
him a hearty, but friendly slap on the cheek. “You can sit down now,

With that Mulder stepped away from her, sauntering back towards his
desk. He leaned back into his chair, resuming the assault on his
pencil as he stared at her openly. Scully flipped through the book
again and stopped. “You know, it says something here about wearing
ties, Mulder.”

He took the pencil out of his mouth and smiled.