Cup o' Mafia Scenario

“You know, someone should really –do- something.”

The statement was one muttered many times in Barney’s Coffee House by young idealists who typically couldn’t be troubled to actually get up and take action. For the moment, anyway, it was enough to simply talk about whatever current goings on were troubling them. World hunger, AIDS, political corruption…yeah, someone really should do something.

It took a more personal threat to motivate the small group of friends into action. And that threat came in the guise of that ever looming symbol of all that was wrong with the world.

Starbucks.

That vile plague, that seemingly unstoppable virus which seemed intent on infesting each and every corner of the earth, every mall, every market, every bookstore had now invaded the town, stripping away local business and replacing them with their foul merchandise and overpriced beverages. The kids merely shrugged and continued to frequent Barney’s in the mall, where the Vanilla Chai Lattes were far superior.

Of course, the all seeing eye of Starbucks knew this could not continue. The owner of Barney’s put up a noble fight to keep his little corner of the mall open, but Starbucks knew the town’s pressure points by now; between political maneuverings and a nearly endless supply of cash, the corporation had won out in the end. Barney’s would close, and be replaced.

And someone really ought to do something.

For the first time, the logical follow up question was asked.

But what?

The friends looked at each other. But what, indeed? How could they possibly fight this huge corporation? They were just a powerless bunch of kids in the eyes of most people; who would listen to them? It was hopeless; all they could do was to shake their head at the world and find a new hang out.

Unless…

The ideas began to snowball. A protest. A peaceful sit in. They could handcuff themselves to the coffee shop doors and sing songs of defiance. This was –their- place, and they weren’t going down without a fight!

But would they be listened to? No, they needed something...bigger. A bomb threat. A few guns, enough to intimidate. The bomb threat could get the mall evacuated, then they would lock up all the doors and guard them. No one would be allowed in until their demands were met. It was a brilliant plan.

Of course, it was bound to go all to hell. This was a pack of people who spent all day hanging out at a coffee house, after all. What did they know about petty terrorism? They were learning as they went, flying loose, making this shit up as they went along.

They learned that, first of all, mall security sucks. Making the bomb threat call served to cause chaos resembling two monkeys fucking a football rather than the orderly evacuation the devout coffee drinkers were expecting. They weren’t fast enough by half; the cops would show up any minute and the protesters had to get the people out and the doors locked before that happened.

Firing a gun at the ceiling worked in the movies to get people going. That was the only reason guns were brought out at this stage of the game at all; just a little intimidation, a little extra push, a reason to get the shoppers out of the mall and keep the cops out long enough to carry out their plan.

Unfortunately, this wasn’t the movies. Gunshots were freakin’ loud in person, and scary. The bullets went through the glass roof of the mall and sent shards down everywhere, which generally caused everyone to panic and scatter rather than getting the hell out like any smart person would have done. And then the cops showed up, they had to lock the doors, but the evacuation wasn't complete…ten seconds of arguing later, the words “federal prison” having been uttered, they locked the mall down with the remaining guests still inside.

No, this was not going well at all. To their credit, though, they regrouped fairly quickly, communicating in bursts over their walkie talkies (just like in the movies), getting chains on the doors and sweeping through the mall to gather up the hostages in one place. The phone at the security desk rang somewhere in the course of all this, and one of the friends did a very convincing job of telling the negotiator that there was a frickin bomb in the frickin mall and if anyone came any closer he would blow the whole building sky high. He was clearly a dangerous man, not to be reasoned with at all, and hopefully that would buy them enough time to get organized and figure this mess out.

Naturally, Barney’s seemed the perfect gathering place to keep the hostages…and calling them hostages made them realize just what idiot thing they had done. Everyone took a collective breath before one stood on the old fashioned counter and shouted over the frightened and confused gathering of people.

“Alright! Everyone…just shut up for a minute.”

That had absolutely no effect. The gunshot to the ceiling, however, actually managed to do its job this time.

“Okay. Umm…I’m going to be straight up here. We don’t want anyone to get hurt…we just wanna save our coffee shop from being taken over by the corporate pieces of trash known as Starbucks. But, uh…we can’t let you go either. So…you guys just need to sit tight and not make a whole lot of noise so we can think and stuff.”

One would have thought that after all that time sitting around in a coffee shop talking, the punks turned terrorists would have achieved a greater command over the English language. Alas, that was not to be. One in their number was, however, astute enough to catch a wink from one of the hostages.

The group of friends spent some time in consultation, occasionally looking over at the hostages and yelling at them to stop talking to each other. They worked out shifts for patrolling the mall and elected a spokesperson to handle the phone, and another to deal with the unlucky bastards who had been caught up in this stupid situation purely by chance.

Meanwhile, one of the terrorists wanted to see what that wink was all about. With some very unsubtle nods and gestures, he made his way to the back room, and waited.

“Some of them are already planning to break out, you know.”

The rabid coffee drinker nodded. “And you’re telling me this why?”

The hostage looked shifty for a moment, but answered. “Here’s the thing. Barney’s…well it’s a part of this town, you know? People got –interests- here. Powerful people. Powerful interests. You see what I’m getting at?”

“Uh. Yeah…I think so…” This was a rather outrageous lie.

“Good, good. So listen. Here’s what we’re going to do. Me and my friends are gonna watch these other hostages in there, see if anyone gets squirrelly, tries to mess up your plans, you see? And if anyone tries to screw this up…we’ll, uh, ‘take care of them.’ If you get my drift.”

“Heh, sure dude, I gotcha. So you like Barney’s too, huh?”

The hostage managed through great effort not to make a face that said anything like ‘you are a moron.’ Only just managed. “Yeah, man, I love this place. Isn’t that what this is all about?”

Meanwhile, the remaining hostages were talking quietly amongst themselves, peering over their shoulders once in a while to see if their captors would do anything about it. All of their mobile phones and other such frivolities had been taken from them at the start, so there wasn’t much to do besides chat and think. Some did the former…a few did the latter as well.

One such person was considering how best to get these people out of this alive. An expert negotiator, this hostage knew lives could be saved if the right words were used at the right time. Another didn’t particularly care who else got out alive; this one was determined to get out if it meant killing everyone else in the damn place.

And another hostage was wondering just what the hell was going on in the back of the coffee shop, having noticed a couple of people heading to the back. And thinking of the cell phone behind the counter. The cellphone with the county sheriff's personal number on speed dial.

/ooc alright, for the lazy people...your character was in the mall when it was taken hostage by a group of rabid coffee drinkers who want to keep their favorite hangout and will go to drastic measures to do so. The mafia are a group of people who want to help out the captors for their own interests (wink), the doctor is a negotiator, the serial killer is a regular person put in an extraordinary situation and, instead of acting like a hero, has decided to save his own ass at the expense of others. The sheriff is an observant sort with connections.