Cup O' Mafia Epilogue:Withdrawal

The eight individuals in Barney’s Coffee Shop looked at each other nervously as the footsteps of the cops pounded over the tiles. Finally, Brad climbed up onto the counter and spoke in his booming voice.

“Alright guys. Let’s just get our frickin’ story straight.”

In truth, he knew just whose corner most of the blame could be placed in, but that wasn’t important now. They had been through a traumatic experience! Surely that would count for something! He took in the hopeful glances of his friends and the scowls of the hostages…and knew, in that moment, they were deeply and hopelessly fucked.

He was spared from having to say more by cop’s arrival. Eight officers, one for each of them, stood in the doorway of Barney’s and took in the scene with shocked expressions.

And then the finger pointing began.

“He –yelled- at us!”

“That’s the one you’re looking for! –She- threw the first bag of coffee!”

“….locked him in a closet…” “…blood –everywhere-…” “….and he was dancing on the countertop and then…” “….hit him with her fan…” “….was singing about it the whole time!...”

The cacophony of voices filled the room as the baffled police officers looked on, shaking their heads. Finally the voices slowed down to occasional muttered accusations, which were silenced completely when the cops started giving orders to get their hands in the air, get down on their knees, get down on the floor.

The hostages looked on smugly until the cops ordered them to the floor as well. There was an angry exchange of words before the police assured everyone that only the guilty would stay in jail for any length of time and they just needed to sort everything out.

That was, however, not much comfort as the cops began to cuff the eight people; there were no true innocents in this coffee shop. Though all were reasonably cooperative, seeing as how there was not much else they could do, one of the cops decided it would be a good idea to give the tattooed freak a savage kick in the ribs.

Brad, as expected, cursed up a storm and tried to get to his feet again before a loud, clear voice interrupted his efforts.

“You didn’t have to do that. He’s just laying there. You didn’t have to do that.”

He turned to see the source of the voice and was surprised to see Ellie, on the floor next to him, looking angrily, almost tearfully so, at the cops.

Their eyes met.

Brad smiled for a brief moment before being jerked to his feet.


Walking out to the cop cars was probably the worst part of the whole mess. Just beyond the police barricade, the families and friends of both the dead and the living yelled and threw things in protest, demanding an accounting. Most just went quietly, ignoring the shouts and letting the thrown fruit peels and Styrofoam cups bounce off them, though Justin turned to the crowd and shouted “FIGHT THE POWER” at the top of his lungs before being hauled into the cop car by a seriously ticked off officer. A tall, tattooed woman who could only be Brad’s mother was explaining quite loudly that her son was a good boy, but neither Brad nor the crowd paid her any attention. Ellie held her head high as she followed the others into the car, scanning the crowd for anyone she knew and meeting the watery green eyes of a striking black haired woman. The woman winked at her once and did something Ellie couldn’t see with her tongue before walking off into the night. Mural didn’t see anyone she knew, and didn’t much care.


The hostages were not faring any better with the crowd. A gaggle of girls stood wailing “oh my god oh my god oh my god” over and over as their friend Tiffany tried to wave at them but was prevented by the cuffs. An older man in a business suit surrounded by several young Asian women dressed much like Yumei was alternating shouts between a cellphone and Yumei herself as he complained about all the money he would lose. There was a crowd of friends all shouting in somewhat whiny voices to get “Pheebs” released at once, but the young woman in question just grinned at them and shouted a nice loud and quite oblivious “hiiii!” as she walked by. Tom managed, with a charming smile, to get his cigarette lit by someone who claimed to be his “number one fan” before the cop violently yanked it out of his mouth and stomped it out on the sidewalk.

Where are they now?

Has started selling paintings and poetry from prison. Her girlfriend admires the whole artist attitude and thinks its cool she's dating someone "famous"

Somehow the courts believed Justin had less to do with this whole mess than anyone else. It could be that he started hyperventilating every time one of the murders was discussed or that he stammered and gestured wildly when speaking of the part he played in the whole thing. They sentenced him to a short time in prison followed by community service...ironically, serving coffee, among other things, at a homeless shelter.

He works in the frickin auto shop, fixin the frickin police cars. Its ok, pretty much what he was doing before. Now he has shirts with his own frickin number on them. Its something, right?

Works in the prison library and is mostly forgotten about. She has a romance by letters to Brad though admittedly her side of them are more eloquent Ellie seems happy enough with "It was frickin hot the way you stood up for me to the cops."

All of them have decided that they would rather drink soda from now on.

Its shame that the little Japanese girl who was a voice artist while she went to med school got caught up in all of this but she did. Despite the cries of sorrow and outrage from her many fans, Japan didn't see it worth arguing with the US over and so let her stay to face justice for her crimes. Its alright though, she has managed to do some voice acting from prison and is more popular than ever. Turns out that she looks really "cute" in the prison uniform and has started a whole new fad, Japanese prison fashion.

Like Oh my god! Prison doesn't like have a mall! Despite the lack of Macy's in the slam, Tiffany has been doing well for herself. She really knows how to barter and knows a bargain when she sees it. Using her daily phone calls to her friends, who think its like the coolest thing ever that their friend is locked up, Tiffany gets them to bring her stuff from the outside to trade on the inside and has a nice little market going.

Has caught the eye of some television producers who saw the whole event on the news. Her quirky answers and spaced out expression won their hearts and their pockets. They offered her money to write a tv sitcom based on the lives of her and the others in jail. She calls it "Inmates" and luckily she had a twin sister who could play her part in the show.

Still smokes like a train, which has become a very expensive habit indeed, but has been totally inspired by the prison life. He has had several hit albums as a result. He still writes to Phoebe and her latest letter held a very cute song about a prison rat that she named Mr Whiskers.