The Trouble With Angels
My name is Iago La Maldecido. I am a founding member and chairman of the Society for Defending Earth from Malicious, Oppressive, and Nefarious Seraphim. For the last five years, I have been speaking to groups of students, politicians, and clergy, in an attempt to bring to light what we feel is the greatest problem plaguing our society today: Too many Angels in the world.
Fifty years ago, the streets of every city were infested with Demonic scum. Due to their influence, innocent children were turning to Demonic worship, torture, and human sacrifice. People were getting caught up in a great, world-wide orgy of debauchery, hatred, and death. Demons had their talons in every aspect of society and every branch of government. That almost every nation was ruled by a Demon was, perhaps, the worst kept secret in the world.
Then, the Angels appeared. The story of what happened then is well known. One would be hard pressed to find anyone hiding under any rock in any part of the world that does not know of the events surrounding the Great Cleansing.
In the thirty seven years following the end of that glorious war, Angels have been a prominent part of the everyday lives of all of us. Indeed, it is no secret at all that every head of every nation in the world has an Angel for an advisor. Due to Angelic influence, wayward children have turned to lives of peace, love, and holy worship. People are once again caught up in an orgy; this time, of fellowship and joy.
Unfortunately, this blissful reverie that has enshrouded mankind is as much a blinding force as was the shadowy cloud of evil cast by the Demonic scourges.
Would the common citizen believe the account of a small boy of an attack on him by a Seraph of the High Order? Of course, he would not. Yet, attacks of this sort have, and are still, taking place. Angels have deluded mankind into believing that they have the answers about the afterlife and man’s place in the universe. Their lies have contaminated every part of society. To publicly decry an Angel is unthinkable and unforgivable, yet there are accounts of corruption even among the divine and glorious Seraphim.
Several brave souls have spoken up to denounce and condemn the High Order of Angels. Fifteen years ago, a boy by the name of Nero Corazon reported the murder of his parents at the hands of an Angel. None believed him, and as this had been the first killing of its kind in over a decade, much was done to keep the affair private. Many feared that some straggling band of demons was responsible, but in the end, Nero was assumed to be guilty of the crime. He was taken away to be dealt with by the Seraphim. He was not seen or heard from for nine years.
Twelve years ago, Gretchen Morgenstern reported seeing a band of angels follow a man into an alley and beat him. She waited for them to leave, entered the alley, and found the man unconscious behind a dumpster, a single Angel wing feather lying on his chest. The man later died, and Gretchen disappeared for six years.
These and several more accounts like them have been given, and each has been ignored by the authorities with the power to expel these haloed defilers. In each case, the person reporting the crime vanished. It was six years ago that these people were found in a church turned asylum in upstate New York by the Society for Defending Earth from Malicious, Oppressive, and Nefarious Seraphim member, and set free. All of them were severely traumatized and required many days of intense observation and care before being able to tell their stories. In light of these accounts, the common man must, indeed, ask himself: Are Angels actually any better for mankind than Demons? Is the insidious, creeping, white winged corruption truly preferable to the obvious and easily avoidable corrupting pleasures of the impish demons?
Complete accounts of the victims’ ordeal in the church-asylum, as well as the details of the crimes they witnessed, in the Society’s book, Touched Inappropriately by an Angel. Copies are available up front, and I will be signing them for a nominal fee, or optionally, by signing up for our mailing list. Please ignore the fine print concerning your immortal soul…
