Mafia/SK Hit: Death of a Legend

James Bond made his way casually through the lobby of the hotel that was hosting the conference. Entering the large ball room where the main displays were showcased, he looked around hoping to find someone interesting. He was supposed to make contact with the other agents. Certainly a few would be female and perhaps if she were pretty, he could test her fitness for duty.

James stopped to inspect a display. Crouched where he was trying to figure out a multi-colored box, he spotted long pair of legs and a flash of green. Those legs were definitively a strong candidate for his fitness test. Naturally James did what any good libidinous agent would do, he followed them.

The legs disappeared into the open door adjoining the ball room.

“We could just kill them all and be done with it.”

“No need just yet. They might know something useful”

“Good you can mingle and I will check out the area.”

“We should all be doing both. Our job is to find out what they know and then distract them from what is really going on. That will be hard to do if we draw too much attention. We will deal with problems as they arise.”

At this point, James realized he had followed the wrong pair of legs. His quiet escape was not nearly quiet enough and they spotted him. There was no point in stealth any longer, his best hope was to hide among the displays and wait for an opportunity get away. Coming around the corner to duck down behind a display for ’Secret Agent Barbie’, his hand hit the button turning on the audio presentation. Stylized gun fire and action music was sounded in stereo. It was not long before James realized the in the midst of all that noise he had been shot.

Stumbling from one display to the next, James knew he did not have long to find the doctor that was supposed to be here. The loss of blood was too much. James collapsed. In his last moments of consciousness he realized it could be worse, at least the dolls that took him out were big breasted women.


----

James woke to find himself there on the floor with the boxes of barbies scattered around him. The agents he had the misfortune of interrupting had left the scene without finishing him off. That was fortunate. He realized that there was the sound of someone else approaching from one of the other entrances.

He felt consciousness starting to ebb again and hoped that he would wake up to the loving care of beautiful nurses.

Footsteps came closer, Bond opened his eyes and tried to focus but everything still seemed cloudy. Someone was looking over him though so it was only a matter of time before he was rescued. M would not be pleased about his injury but he would just not relay the specifics of the situation like always, at least not until he had successfully solved this little caper of hers.

The person leaning over him had turned away for what he had hoped was a cellphone to call for a stretcher. They turned back around clutching a pack of Secret Agent Barbie's Super Secret Devices.

He opened his mouth to protest that this was not helpful and though Barbie was certainly a looker he was the one shot here. The entire packet of plastic items were shoved down his throat and a hand was clamped down on top of it.

The Mattel Corporation representative would later be quoted as saying that despite the incident the warning label on the package would not include that it was a choking hazard for those older than 4 years of age. You'll just have to risk it.

((Note: For those not familiar with Bond. M listed above and in the scenario is not a typo. M is the code name of Bond's superior ))