Proud Mama Moment

Aww, that's too cute. Catherine just started Brownies and is good at math. We're proud of her too =D KIDS ARE CUTE! Grats to yours!!! /hug

Thanks Roz!

School can be so much fun, I forgot how much I liked grade school.

You shouldn't reward kids for something they should be obligated to do on their own. Getting good grades that is. You know what I got when I went home with good grades? A belting. For acting smug. In fact tell your daughter that if she comes home with grades lower than those, in her life, she has to live on her own. And throw in that you no longer get holidays or birthdays. Which should be obvious when she has no home that is.

I'm going to be the best parent ever. I can't wait.

God forbid you have daughters, Gylius. You'll spoil them rotten.

If I have daughters, I'll have bigger things to worry about than spoiling them. Like, how do I hide the bodies of their boyfriends? Or is it possible to put in a cement slab in your back yard in one night over a freshley dug grave? These are things I really need to worry about.

Veb and I discuss Catherine growing up and dating regularly. I have already committed to hiding the bodies of any emo or punk boyfriends she brings home. She already had some little mixed player 5 year old play head games with her. Last year when she turned 6, he threatened not to go to her birthday party unless she kissed him.

I walked down there and ratted that kid out to his mother who was surprised and embarassed. The little shit. Veb had a massive cow. He was sitting in the living room and all i heard from the kitchen was, 'WHAT?!?!?!?!?!!!!!!!' We fixed that situtation from happening again. She has permission to kick the boy in the nuts and then rat him out to me so I can go bitch slap his mother if it happens again.

Smooth, I like that kid. Just not around my daughters.

Buy her a computer, tell her she'll get WoW if she gets a's next quarter.

Hey, my guild needs more members.

Well, all I can say is I'm glad you don't have children Gylius...

Beth had a "boyfriend" in Kindergarten, I'm not comfortable with that so we told her that if she has a boyfriend it's lots of hard work. You have to always be nice to them, carry their things, get their lunch, hold their hand, play only what they want to play, you never get to pick the game, and you can never be mad at them for anything. She replied. "That's ok mom, I don't need a boyfriend anyway."

We believe in rewarding our children after they have done something good. We do not tell them they will be rewarded, so we aren't bribing our children. We've pretty much decided on giving her cash, mostly because it's the easiest thig to do.

Oh and Wasidu, she has a computer, one that's almost better than mine, but we're not ready for our 8 year old to play WoW.


Wow, I make my husband and I sound like wimps.

Elementary school is fun. Congrats on her Satisfactories!!! Free dinner too, sounds like she is learning that there are positive reasons for continuing getting good grades.

Parents want their children to be happy. Be that through good grades to good college to good career to good life. Or through being happy now with play dates and fun activities or groups. Sure people can be too hard or too easy on the kids but every kid is different so there is no magic way to treat them all. What works for one may not work for the next.

That said, I have a 13 year old. Last summer she said to me "Mom, I think Im ready to start liking boys now." which is fine by me. Of course she has yet to find one that isnt "stupid" or "annoying" as she describes them. Which is fine be me too. haha Sure I want her to be my baby forever but I would also like her to enjoy life and if that means hand holding and kissing such is life.

Am I scared she will "get in trouble"? Not really. Whatever happens happens. I plan on putting her on the pill next summer (due to knee surgery i couldnt this summer) and talking to her frankly about sex and diseases. She has a 9month old half sister at home so she is very aware of how hard babies are as she is expected to help care for it.

Yikes! this turned into some kind of rant. My apologies!

Yay for kiddo rants!

I have to ask, because this is a subject I'm very uncomfortble with when it comes to my children, aren't you afraid that putting her on the pill and saying here is what happens and why will make her feel that it's ok to do what she wants whith whomever? I worry that being that permissive, in reguards to my own children, is asking for a STD or pregnancy at 15.

We've spoken briefly with Beth about sex, no details, because she's not ready for that, and how we view sex and what the Bible has to say about, since we are trying to raise our children with Christian values.

I get incredibly nervous when I think about what I want to say to my daughter and how I want to say it. We've already talked about puberty and all the girly stuff that comes along with it. Weve talked about drugs, smoking and drinking, unwanted touching and very briefly sex. She know that boys are different from girls and about private parts, but I sweat bullets everytime I broach those subjects.

Do any of you moms with older kids have any suggestions about how to make this easier? I've looked at some books, but the thought of reading those outloud to her has me blushing so hard my cheeks hurt.

I have to be the worlds biggest wimp I kow, and I could get around it by ot telling her aything, but I do't wat her finding out about these things from her friends like I did and getting bad information. My mom only talked with us about it after we asked for confirmation of what our friends said, not before. I guess I just want her armed with the right knowledge.

Porn can be a good teaching tool...

Wow....thanks, I never thought to use porn.


*looks around for a napkin*

Just go out and get a heavy duty wood chipper. Its more fun than digging a grave and pouring concrete, plus the chippings will be good mulch for your flower beds. Recycling 4tw!!!

Well let me tell you while I don't have kids.. I wouldn't recommend how I was taught. My mom was living out of state when I was 11 and my aunt who was a nurse decided that I should have had "the talk" already, so she would do it. She pulled out medical books and explained everything very factually. Using graphic pictures. I was so embarassed and disgusted! My Mom (when she moved back) was very open and explained how her first time had been from pressure and she'd been too young to enjoy it, etc etc.. She made sure we understood (my little sis and I) how we could come to her and tell her if we were active. And I did, and she was cool about it. I was embarassed as hell, but she took me down and got me on the pill and made sure everything was OK. Of course I was 17 so maybe that was part of it. I will say that because of my mom's honesty and attitude towards it I was in NO hurry to run out and do "it".

Positive reinforcement of your kids' accomplishments is great! But if you give her money I'd make sure she has like a savings account so she can start learning about money management and responsibility rather than just blowing it. When I was growing up my grandmother always bought us savings bonds which was neat because it explained interest and appreciation as well as making us save it so we understood the importance of that. We used to pull them out and count them and keep track of how much money we had. I (being a very money-loving person) loved the hell out of knowing how much money I had saved! However.. don't put anyone else's name on the bonds with your kids'. My Dad's name was on there and he cashed them all in and spent it without telling us *sigh*

My daughter is grown, and I have gone through all this already, which is not to say what I did was the 'right' way, but it worked great for the two of us.

When Stefanie was about five I got a book about sex...done very cartoonishly to make it easier, I guess, for her to relate to. And when they spoke of 'orgasms' they used words like a 'pleasent tickle' as I recall. It really was done very well, showing drawings of both sexes, and explaining things so a young child would be able to understand.

However, after that intro, it was sometime before she actually came to me with questions. When she did I answered honestly, and used 'real' words. That said, I also told her one major rule for her was that while she lived under my roof, she lived by my rules. And part of those rules was there was to be no sex until she was 18. No ifs, ands, or buts, even though I would have liked to have said no sex till she moved away from home :P. We talked a lot about feelings, my own experiences, and how I grew up, and how she could always talk to me about anything, and I wouldn't judge her...but there is no way I would have put her on the pill before she was 18...unless it was for medical reasons. To do that would have been like saying...I don't want you to have sex, but in case... I was a very strict mom...I didn't give her any option. Fortunately for me it worked.

Though she hasn't dated extensively, she is quite happy with having not had sex in high school, and was able to go to college, get a degree and not have the worry or responsibility of pregnancy or other sexual issues get in the way. She has grown into a strong young woman who is totally self sufficient, and still not ready to jump into bed with someone, until she is fairly sure it is the right someone.

But all kids are different, and while this worked for us, I can guarantee it won't work for everyone. What one thing that did work, and that I do preach, is consistency. Don't tell your kids one thing, and do another. Don't tell them one thing today, and then not follow through tomorrow. Stand behind whatever it is you believe in and don't falter. They learn early, and if they don't see you holding up the values you preach, why should they?

*ok...off my soapbox now :S*

Thanks guys!

My mom was also a nurse ad very clinical about the whole thing. I didn't know what an orgasm was until I was a teenager and a friend asked if I'd ever had one. I'm not sure how much I want to tell my 8 year old, but I know what I want her to know before she's old enough to need to use the knowledge.

I guess I'm just worried she'll do what I did, and have to plan a wedding in two weeks so that she's not showing in her wedding dress. The again, I'm a lot different from my family. I think I've managed to avoid making them feel like their privates are dirty and shameful, and that the pleasure from that part of your body is evil and dirty. Hooray for having to overcome those kinds of hang ups!

I guess I'll get that book I found at B&N that is made for girls 8 and up and see how that goes.

If I recall, at 8, she was more reading the period type books. Not the full sex ed books. More like "What is happening to my body, for girls" books.

I keep planning to have the "sex" talk with her but this summer was the first hint that boys were no longer 'icky'. Putting her on the pill would help her greatly mainly for her periods because she started early, cramps a lot and flows heavily. (Say: thanks mom!)

I would rather teach my daughter that sex is normal and enjoyable than make it taboo. By doing the later my kid is going to run out and try it. She just has that personality. I have talked to her about my own experiences, and that sex just isnt 'fun' until your older.

Honestly the change from 8 years old to 13 years old is massive. By the time your girl starts asking questions you will be more comfortable and have planned what to say / do. Personally my sister had a baby in High School and a good friend of mine had a baby at 15. I would rather put Angel on the pill than risk that. I would not just get her the perscription though without having a long and detailed conversation about the risks of unprotected sex. Possibly with internet statistics and pics about how horrific it is to live with and die from AIDS. Starting birth control without discussing all the possible ramifications of sex is irresponsible.

I dont live life thinking she will be a virgin at 27 when she gets married, after college and starting her career. So I want her armed with all the information I can give her, knowing all the facts and making an informed decision. Wouldnt you rather have your child with a condom in their pocket should they meet and instantly fall in love and bed than risk disease or pregnancy? I would. Of course in my mind thats in college. haha not high school!

Do you know how much blood would shoot out of a wood chipper if you threw a body in it? That would be a dead giveaway. You can't hide blood that well, and wood chippers are very loud. You should do it with pigs, like in Snatch, but who really has a pig farm?

And honestly do you people actually think I'm serious when I talk about getting a belting for acting smug when I brought home good grades? Or actually sending a child to live on her own because her grades weren't very good? Come on now.

My mom decided to have the sex talk with me when I was about 14 and in the car. She knew that I couldn't jump out of a car on the freeway at 70 mph so she could finish the entire speech. Which I guess is smart because at 10 mph, I just might have. It was akward, and I can't imagine any first time sex talk with your parents going any other way.

Is there a right way to talk with kids about sex? Probably not. Personally I've been a big fan of putting a potential daughter of mine on the pill in high school. I have female friends that started using birth control in high school long before they even had sex. In my opinion, that's way better than getting pregnant. Kids are stupid, even the smart kids are stupid. Telling someone that they cannot do something (sex) isn't going to stop them, but at least have the decency to put them in a safe situation (condoms + pill), so that the worst doesn't happen.

Here's a statistic. 70% of females lose their virginity by 18. Soooo, all that talk about not having sex til you're 18 or in college is going to mean nothing for 7 out of 10 of your daughters (6 out of 10 for guys). Would I like my daughter to not have sex at 16? Absolutely, but if she's going to do it, there really isn't anything I can do to stop her. It's going to happen. The best I can do is arm her with the tools to be safe. The pill and condoms. I refuse to believe that 'abstinence only sex education' that just endangers a countless number of people by not giving them proper information.

In conclusion keep your daughter from STDs and an unwanted pregnancy. Put her on the pill and give her some condoms.

I'm going to ace hardware and buying a lock for the closet I plan on keeping Catherine in. Ya'll have freaked me out.