Spontaneity in dating

Bajillions of personals profiles on the 'net state:

"I like my men spontaneous."

This has often confused me. Does this mean she wants her man to take her quickly and forcefully in the cloak room of an expensive restaurant? Does it mean that she wants to be kidnapped from work with an overnight bag for a quick getaway?

I'm pondering things I've done recently that could be considered "spontaneous" and the only thing I can think of was taking myself to see a movie with only 5 minutes notice to myself. "Bye, I'm going to a movie." "With who?" "Me, myself and I. Thankfully I only need one ticket." (Made Mom laugh, btw.)

In dating, what is "spontaneous"? Should it be considered "spontaneous" if one of the two interested parties does a little planning? Or is it more like sitting in the kitchen eating and deciding "hey let's go to the shore right now with only what we're wearing."

ROzbeans 15 years ago
Basically woman don't like men who settle or are happy doing the same god damn thing every god damn day. It doesn't have to be grand, but a small gift - book, wild flowers or even bringing home some takeout of her favorite dish - we women love that shit. Running off somewhere on a whim, that's perfect. Trying something new like horseback riding or going to the park - just as long as it appears random, it doesn't even have to cost anything.
Den 15 years ago
yep - just like the time I was asked to go sky diving! Hey...wanna go?
And yep, can be totally free...hey wanna take a walk...drive...
Or here is a flower I picked for you on the way over to see you...
Spontaneity on the part of both people is a bit more difficult, but can still be done, though since some planning is often required, a give and take exchange of spontaneous events is probably the best way to go.
Vishanti 15 years ago
I've got a good friend I used to date a few years back. I was totally not her type. The thing is, I had a habit of surprising her. Constantly. She said that was one of the things that drew her to me. Of course, I still don't really know why I decided to sneak into the shower behind her after she'd started... that could've ended very badly. Not something I'd recommend. I just got lucky. And... yeah.
Mileron 15 years ago
Vishanti;81923
Of course, I still don't really know why I decided to sneak into the shower behind her after she'd started... that could've ended very badly. Not something I'd recommend. I just got lucky. And... yeah.

I don't quite think I've gotten to the point where that would go off without a hitch. I like my nose and nuts in the pristine condition they're in, thanks.

Of course that's not to say the idea hadn't crossed my mind.
FyreGarnett 15 years ago
i hate to admit, but i have limits to the level of spontanaeity i can handle. little things like roz and den suggested are perfect for me. if it involves actually leaving the house overnight, it darn well better be planned out in advance or it just ticks me off. holdever from my childhood where everything had to be planned out 24 hours in advance or we couldn't do it. i can drop everything to go to dinner or something, but it's taken years to get me to that point!
Xandare 15 years ago
I can tell you for a fact, some women don't care for spontanaeity in the least! *cough* *cough*
Adiene 15 years ago
.... but the larger percent of them do.

It don't have to be costly or anything grand as Roz stated. Simple things like just comming up behind her and kissing her on her neck while shes at the computer, or cooking etc. Stopping by her work to bring her a snack or bringing home even a single flower,.. its just the little things that you can do on the whim that speak louder then words and really touches the inner core that is woman. o_O
Calimaryn 15 years ago
I agree that spontaneity does not have to be expensive or elaborate. Simply keep yourself open to the option of being spontaneous. If you both get home and she seems really tired suggest going out to dinner or you cooking. Offer a foot rub when it looks like she had a bad day. Run her a bubble bath, bring her a flower or a book or trinket.

Just have these kinds of things in your head so when you see that opportunity you have all these quick ideas to choose from.
Beli 15 years ago
I just figured that was code word for "sweep me off my feet!"
Sarah 15 years ago
What floors me about this question from you, is that you naturally do those kinds of things. I can't count the number of times you have sent cards, e-cards, doo-dads, or a quick phone call in the almost six years of our friendship. I'll tell you something I've always told you. Just be who you are, and if she is meant to be, she'll love you no matter what.