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masoyama



Joined: 10 Dec 2004
Posts: 214

Posted: Tue Feb 15, 2005 2:20 am Post subject: MC Humor

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sometimes things can happen that seem very funny to people when they are present but when told to others it looses its sensationalism and humor.

This may well be true about my day yet, Ill risk it.

My wife and me left for the weekend to the ocean to stay at a casino for the St Valentines Day celebration. On our travels home from Ocean Shores to Olympia we drive thru a small rural town called Hoqium. I pulled into a MC Donalds. If you are not familliar with White Rural mating rithuals than you may be shocked to learned that every female in Hoqium has 7 inch tall bangs covered in about three coats of aquanet. They are all about 30 lbs overwieght and the gap of empytispace between there ears is only surpassed by the space between their two fornt teeth. But enoough about the women of MC Ds and more about Jason. Jason is the mentally handicapppped teen who works at MC Ds. He was certainly nice enough, it just makes me wonder if all small rural town women drink excessive amounts of alcohol while pregnant. And then there is Jenny. Jenny has failed RL. She is a MC Ds manager. A short tempered control freak who at the ripe age of 34 manages 7 17 yr olds on a saturday afternoon while trying to get them to work and think shes cool at the same time.

So the night before I had shared 2 bottles of Chapamgne and had 7 or so Rum & Cokes. I was feeling at the least very dehydrated. ( I rarely drink to excess so my head was hurting) I decided this morning (11:30) I needed a diet coke to take some Ibuprofin. I surprised my wife by pulling into a MC Ds. It has been probably 5 months since i have been to one. ANd the last time I was there I bought my son food and left feeling disgusted.

We walked into this MC Ds. It was a clean establishment with several people waiting for there orders. I used to work at a MC Ds a long long time ago and I remeebered what the dreaded lunch rush was like. We where third in line and I got to witness McManagement at its best. Its seems Miss Jenny was having issues in drive thru. A patron had ordered an item off the menu. This patron ordered the dreaded "McFish, but plain." Jenny up front with the cashier crew was yelling to the back of the restaurant to the drive in cashier whether it was a truly "plain McFish ro whether they meant plain no sauces but still keep the cheese."

For those who read this, it may seem simple. But not for McEmployees. A loud yelling battle insued.

"They said plain!"
"Plain is plain but even with cheese they still call it plain!"
"Ask the customer!"
"I cant they are driving to you!"

at this point FAB Jason piped in .... (Fetal Alcohol Boy) "They said plain, not plain cheese." well McManagement did not like FAB jumping into the middle of her conersation. SO she squeels off at Jason "Dont worry about this, focus on the fries."

Finally it is my time to order. I want to get in and out as fast as possible. Isalana wants a small icecream cone. (wich they dont have they only have large and child size but wont give her a child size becasue she is not a child and even if i paid the amount for a large still wont just give her a damn small cone .....but that is antoher issue.) I want a Diet coke. I order, I pay, I run to the bathroom to pee. In the back of my mind I kinda expected my MC Order to be done by the time I return.

When I returned I see that Elizabeth has helped three other customers and we were all waiting for our food. But she looks troubled. I stand there stairing blank faced with no emotion. She apporoached me and asks "Are you still waiting?"

"You dont see a cup in my hands do you?" Now most people dont appreciate my dry sense of humour. Especially my Wife. I dont think Elizabeth did either.

"They were suppose to get it for you." she replied not knowing i was messing with her.

"They? You took the order." - I replied

"Well I am suppoise to have someone backing me up to give our the orders but she is on break."

"Do you expect me to wait 15 mins for a diet coke?" I asked as Jenny walks over.

And I a brilliant bold maneuver not unlike the sheriff in a old cowboy western movie she declares " I am the manager what seem to be the problem?" Not I had nothing against Elisabeth and her bangs, but Jenny on the other hand I had already started to dislike. She stares blankly at me.

I pondered ... what shoudl I say. From the background you cna hear Jason arguing again with a cashier. Jenny kwikly turns and unleshes another demand

"Focus on the Fries. Jason! Focus on the fires!" I look over to Jason and I see a poor 17 yr old with acne that would put wildbug at ease. He has 5 racks of French fries frying and has over 20 Supersized fries in the warmer. They could have fed a ranger brigade with this amoiunt of french fires I dont think she knew what the poor kids was doing. Now she turns back to me not knowing if she should handle me or go freak out because this poor kid had just cooked 4 times the ammount of fries they would need fo rthe next 3 hours.

I pondered ... what shoudl I say.

I looked at the McManager and spoke

"I think I have a McIncident here." - she stared at me blankly.

"I have been waiting 8 mins on a diet coke and if you dont find a McRemedy it may very turn into a McCrsis." The construction worker kinda snorts behind me laughing under his breath and my wife elbows me in the ribs. Me .. well I didnt change any expression in my face and this poor little McManager didnt know if I was McJoking or not.

"I can help you sir" she says apologeticaly, get Isalana her cone and me my cup (the damn drinks are self serve and it took 8 mins to get a damn cup)

I bring up my hand to fake wiping sweat from my brow "Thank you Ma'am you helped avoid a MCastophe."

Well anyhow Isalana starts pulling me out. I am trying to fill my Diet and she is ushering me out saying that I am embarassing her and am rude. I tell her I jsut wanted to watch Jason some more and see how much McProduct he could waste in a 30 min time span.

I am alot different now that I am older and have a child. Things that sued to upset me not simply make me laugh. Now adays waiting 20 mins to get a small ... excuse me large icecream cone and a diet coke is just motivation for a new post and not the type of thing that could destroy your whole day. They say sometimes if you have to explain the joke that it wasnt very funny. I hope this wasnt a total waste of your time. Either way the time you wasted in reading this is no where near as long as it took me to actually get a simple order at Americas Favorite Fast Food restaurant.

Go McDs!
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