TOILET HUMOUR

So last night (not that the guys noticed) My wife found out it the worst of ways that the house was out of toilet paper.

This morning early she wakes, goes to the store and buys her Latte and a jumbo supply of TP.

But as things go, hen you walk in the house ... the three year old needs something, groceries need to be put away, and you know how you sometimes forget to put the TP in the bathroom.

about two hours later my wife was the first to notice. While sitting on the throne you here screaming from the bathroom ...

JAKE!!!! JAKE!!!! (my sons name)

Me and Jake are in the living room putting together puzzles.

JAKE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My boys head looks up and he goes running down the hall looking for his mommy.

Jake go to the kitchen and get the toilet papers and bring them to me.


Now trying to explain things to a three year old is bad enough but when you are in need of something form that three year old they tend to move like molasses.

So, Jake runs out of the bathroom, leaving the door wide open.

JAKE!! get back here and close the door!!!!

So Jake runs close the door then comes back to me.

Daddy I need the Toilet papers!

For what?? - I question


Mommys in the Potty and she needs her papers.

So I, being the witty guy that I am ....


Here! - as I hand Jake three little squares of TP from the huge COSTCO sized pack.

Jake runs to the Potty and gives my wife the three squares.

no Jakey, I need a whole role the whole big thing.

So Jake runs back down the hall and grabs the huge bag. But No I wont let him take it

Mommy needs the whole thing.

Naw, Just take her this much. ... another 3 sheet.

Once Jakey reaches the end of the hall, he peeks his head into the bathroom and says "Here .."

"No Honey, the whole big thing ..."

Jake looks at me confused. I am laying down laughing on the floor.

As with many things having to do with my son ... Mindy gets up pulls up here pants and waddles down the hall to do it for herself. When she sees me on the floor laughing she knows what is up.


JOEY!!! ....


I might have been hit in the arm, but you know if you cant tease pregnant people who can you tease right?