Ghost Thread - Davey Jones Locker

Dominic flapped around the room a couple of times unhappy about all the mention of cooked poultry. He eyed suspiciously each and every pirate in the room. Solomon Caine was currently sipping from a tankard with parrot wee in it, and thus far had failed to notice the little dollop of poo on his hat. Question was, was there anyone else sat here now who also deserved to be pooed on? Time would tell, Dominic thought as he ate another cracker.

As the bird sits and eats his cracker he doesn't notice that Captain Cristo pulls out a pistol and shoots through the ghost bird. He just simply whispered stupid bird you got me killed off. *glad your dead wish it was you first and not me*

Dominic watched the ghost bullet travel harmlessly through his ghost body as he munched on the remainder of his cracker. As he swallowed the last few crumbs, he flew over to the shooter, Cristo, and did a poo on his head.

(does ghost parrot poo have any real consistency???)

Ghost poo contains ectoplasm

Puts new meaning to I've been slimed.

eeeeewwwwwwwwwww.........

the mental images just keep getting better and better 'round these parts!!

Cesare looked around the bar as he sauntered in. He was chuckling to himself, thinking, "Well the good booze got me taken by the Spanish and once again played a significant part in the way things played out." "Although this really gives a new meaning to the term, in the drink....." he mused to himself. "You know, I hate it for my crew's sake and for my sweet lil caravel but hey, drowning is as good a way as any to go I guess." "I sure hope those remaining captains and crews learn something from all the death and destruction, but I doubt it". With a deep rumbling belly laugh, he turned to everyone in the place and yelled "Belly UP to the bar, folks, and have a round on me!" "You too, feather head" "Let's get this party started!" "No hang overs and no heaves can be a blessing, I'm thinking!"

Having deployed poo and wee in order to vent his frustration over being horribly horribly murdered, Dominic looked around and for the first time noticed the rather attractive serving wench washing the tankards over at the bar.

With a flutter and a swoop, Dominic landed on the bar top, blew out his chest, whistled, and proceeded to march backwards and forwards along the bar waggling his hips, and ensuring that the wench had full sight of his plumage.

After a few minutes of failing to get her attention, Dominic decided that she wasn't all that voluptuous after all and returned to his perch at the back of the tavern, pausing briefly to do a fresh wee in Solomon Caine's beer.

Okay bird, NOW you're funny :P

O'Connor watched the parrots antics with mild disinterest, it was only when the bird decided to stop nearby that he gave the creature his attention.

James stated silently, "I feel I must apologize for previous actions, I treated you with undue disrespect. To say that my actions were not in fact as they seem, although true, does little to change what I had done."

With that he tossed a few small crackers towards the avian, and ceased to pay much attention to its actions.

Rosa entered the taven and quietly surveyed the room: raucous men (some covered in generous amounts of bird poo), drunken women... pistols being fired, guts being heaved... and yet even more bird poo all over the bar. Yep, this was hell all right.

She slipped into a dark booth in the corner and brooded over the circumstances of her death. "It was all a ploy to take back my Golden Sunset..." She dragged her hook down the length of the table, leaving a ferocious scar in the dark wood. "Damn you, Jessop! When you get down here, my hook will see to it that you won't float again!"


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PS: loved that lynch! I do believe that it is an EXACTLY ACCURATE portrayal of what went on!

Captain Jessop sat down in the darkened room with the old lady. He'd docked at Port Royal that very morning with his reclaimed ship, the Golden Sunset, and he had an important message to deliver. Unfortunately for him, this old hag was the only person who could get that message delivered.

"Who are you trying to reach, my dear?", the woman spoke in some funny accent he couldn't quite make out.

"An old friend of mine recently departed! A young bird!"

"And what be her name?"

"Her?! What be HE name, you silly old fool! HEs name is Dominic, and he is, quite literally a bird." he pursed the places where his lips would have been (had he had them) and calmed himself.

"I can't contact animals, dearie! What do you think I am? Some kind of fruit cake?"

"Channel the bird now, you tiresome old bat! Before I screw in my medium punisher and give you something to bloody channel all day long!"--it was about this time that Squirrel Lips reflected for the first time that he didn't actually sound that much like a pirate.

The wrinkly old toad finally sighed and close her eyes, sitting in silence for what seemed like forever.

Then suddenly, her eyes snapped open.

"BWAAAAARK!"

The old woman crumpled her face and strained, and Squirrel Lips was suddenly aware of a foul odour in the room. This was when he realised he really was sat before his old parrot buddy.

"Dominic!! Remember what we talked about before you died?"

"BWAAAARK!"

"I know who did it buddy! I know who cooked you up! Turns out I was right about Rosa! Poo on her head, Dominic! Poo on her head like you've never pooed before!"

No fair making me LMAO at work! Yer gonna get me in trouble!!

Dominic watched with interest as the young lady with the hook walked calmly into the tavern and proceeded to slice a chunk of pine out of a nearby table. Not bad, he thought. Maybe--

Suddenly, he felt weird.

"BWAAAAAAARK!", he found himself saying - although in an old woman's voice. And he wasn't in the tavern anymore...

Squirrel Lips? Is that you? His vision was blurry - like he was looking through someone else's eyes (which he was), but he could just about make out his buddy.

"I know who did it buddy! I know who cooked you up! Turns out I was right about Rosa! Poo on her head, Dominic! Poo on her head like you've never pooed before!", cried Squirrel Lips. And then the vision was gone - he was back in the tavern and in front of him, acting as if nothing had happened, was Rosa.

Dominic narrowed his eyes, ate a cracker, felt his stomach bloat in anticipation, and swiftly swooped over to her table. As he flapped over her head he prepared to poo... but... suddenly--

5 million years of genetic programming got the better of him and he found himself marching to and fro in front of Rosa, hips waggling, chest out, and whistling...

"BWAAAAAAARK!", yelled Dominic in frustration as he realised what had happened. It was that damned slashed throat of hers that did it - a little patch of red on the neck, just like he had, and one which biology forced him to not ignore.

He managed a little squirt of runny poo which landed on Rosa's hand. This was the best he was going to manage, Dominic felt... for the time being.

Rosa watched the familiar green parrot with the striking pink patch dance and whistle in front of her. After he had performed a particular difficult triple-whistle-trill combination, she sighed and sadly whispered, "I remember a long time ago, when I too used to sing..."

She began to unbutton her coat. "Pretty bird, come here pretty bird, I have something for you," she said, opening her coat to reveal exactly what all male parrots, really, are after: a box of Royal, premium-grade, mineral-water, gourmet crackers--now with 50% more crunch.

Dominic crunched gratefully on the crackers as he snuggled up confused to this killer with her offer of friendship. Washing the morsels down with some of the tasty water he retreated back to his perch. He had left a little present on her blouse.

Men, women, and...a fucking parrot? Ever since M had sat down, she'd been tossing back the grog, and had since lost count of what she owed the barkeep. But as long as he kept pouring, she'd keep...she'd keep...

*Empty mug dropped to the bar...M stared straight ahead...then her eyes slowly closed as her body slid off the stool, and plopped onto the hard floor, with a loud thud.*

Aww, his little hat!

(ooc - OMG - and i thought the lynch was good. Damn parrot!!!)