In need of help and opinions!!

I need a bit of quick help with a project for school. I am working on a paper for my Ethics class and need to get some opinions from others as to their views on my subject. Please take a few moments to answer these questions – you are welcome to PM them to me if you would prefer – if you do so, I won’t be sharing who said what to whom!! No names will be used in the paper – just references to the opinions expressed (Of course, I don’t have a clue what the vast majority of your names really are anyways!!!)
Also, if you could include a sentence or two explaining why you answered as you did, that would be wonderful and an even bigger help!
If you feel brave, go ahead and discuss here - that I can use as well! and as I said, names will be changed to protect the (not-so-innocent!!) (Actually, in the paper it will be more a matter of "one person expressed this" or "a few people said that". )

Thank you!!

Fyre


1) Is cybersex cheating? (In this case, cybersex involves online relationships with sexual overtones but do not at any time involve actual contact whether by phone or in person. This includes “relationships” in online RPG games, such as Sims, chat rooms and instant messenger stuffs.)
2) Is swinging cheating? (Swinging involves both partners to be engaging in sexual relations with other couples, with both 100% aware of what the other is doing and with whom they are doing it.)
3) Is paying for sex outside a marriage immoral? (If I have to explain this one….)
4) Is it immoral for a battered spouse to have an extra-marital relationship?
5) Is there any circumstance under which having extra-marital relations would be the right thing to do?

Darsa 16 years ago
Whoo, those are some pret-ty heavy questions!! And I have very definite, strong-minded ideas about these topics, but I think I'll keep 'em to myself... just 'cause I'm chicken to talk about it!
Den 16 years ago
I'm not a prude, as most can tell by my posts here, so wth.

1) Is cybersex cheating? I think if you're restricting the definition to gaming, or online rp'g then no, I don't think its cheating anymore than if you were to write a book about having sex with someone. However, if it goes beyond that, to the point of where you and the person playing the other character know yourselves that you've gone past the characters, and you do know, trust me, then yes, I consider it cheating. I don't think cheating has to be physical...it can be mental and sometimes be worse.

2) Is swinging cheating? I don't think you can cheat if you have consent from your partner, so I'd say no.


3) Is paying for sex outside a marriage immoral? Yes. Any kind of cheating, imo, is immoral. If a person isn't happy with who they're with, then dissolve the union and do what you want. But when you've made a commitment to someone, which includes being faithful to that person, then any move to the contrary would be immoral imo.

4) Is it immoral for a battered spouse to have an extra-marital relationship? Yes. Get out of the relationship, and live your life. Two wrongs (sadism/cheating) don't make a right.

5) Is there any circumstance under which having extra-marital relations would be the right thing to do? About the only way I could justify it in my mind would be in a case where one partner is physically unable to participate in sex, and yet for extenuating circumstances the other partner cannot dissolve the marriage.
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Darsa 16 years ago
Hey Den, you callin' me a prude???

'Cause I'd hafta agree
Temprah 16 years ago
PM'd my responses
Den 16 years ago
Darsa;96170
Hey Den, you callin' me a prude???

'Cause I'd hafta agree



LOL - no, not at all. Merely saying I'm too lazy to PM, and don't really care if someone reads my answers.
Jetamio 16 years ago
1) Is cybersex cheating?

In Roleplaying no, so long as you are staying in character. I personally would let my partner know in advance in case he came accross it lol.

2) Is swinging cheating?

Not cheating if your partner is allowing it, specially if they are also lol.

3) Is paying for sex outside a marriage immoral?

Yes. It belittles your partner imo, if you have sexual problems with them, then discuss it, don't belittle them by paying someone else for kicks.

4) Is it immoral for a battered spouse to have an extra-marital relationship?

I'll say this right now, any man lays a finger on me with intent to harm, I'd be out of there in a flash. I wouldnt consider that a partner therefore its not cheating

5) Is there any circumstance under which having extra-marital relations would be the right thing to do?

Not that I can think of, really it boils down to the couple in question and their views.
Vishanti 16 years ago
1) Is cybersex cheating?
I think this is fully dependent upon the intentions of the parties involved and whether the 3rd party (the one who would be cheated on) is aware and concerned.

2) Is swinging cheating?
I don't consider it cheating if those who are playing around outside their serious relationships are doing so with the awareness and consent of their significant others. Cheating implies an unfair advantage wherein the other party is unaware or can't prevent it.

3) Is paying for sex outside a marriage immoral? (If I have to explain this one….)
Is paying for sex within a marriage moral? I don't like the idea of paying for play unless you're playfully paying.

4) Is it immoral for a battered spouse to have an extra-marital relationship?
Depends. I'm not gonna hit this one with a blanket statement. I've known people who were unable to get out of a marriage, and I've known people who stayed in a marriage for reasons other than personal welfare.

5) Is there any circumstance under which having extra-marital relations would be the right thing to do?
I don't know about "right" thing, but I don't think it's necessarily the "wrong" thing. I carried on with a married woman once. She was going through a divorce, but she was still married. Legally, it was extra-marital. Physically, it was extra wow
Vex 16 years ago
i pretty much agree with den on all her points, thought #1.. i can't imagine RPing sex. but i'm not really an RPer. I suppose I have no opinion on RP'd cybering. Regular non-game-based cyber? absolutely. no difference between that and phone sex.

extra-marital stuff and whatnot. If people could dissolve the marriage without a problem in all states, there'd be no reason for going outside for sex. Just divorce the person you don't love anymore and move on. But I know of someone right now who has to wait a whole year before she can be divorced from her husband. he doesn't physically abuse her but he pretty much keeps her locked up. But they just moved to a state that forces you to stay married for a year after filing, for the sake that "you might work it out".
Lillaanya 16 years ago
I think I'm with Den on this one too, except for the point about cybering. RP or not chances are someone is getting all worked up over it for real.

My parents recently got divorced (it was amicable) and they had to wait I think 6 months before it was final, so ya, in some cases where it would legally exramarital I think in some cases it really wouldn't be to the parties involved for all intents and purposes.
Lillaanya 16 years ago
I almost said #1 depends on if you use a cam or not, then I remembered this is serious hehe.
Beli 16 years ago
1. Yes, cybersex is cheating. It involves a human being actively working with you to provide stimulation, no different than walking into a bathroom and participating in a glory hole. Just because it's happening in a digital format doesn't mean it's a trivial issue. Porn videos do not actively have a live person on the other side of the screen working and responding to your interactions. Cybersex takes it to the next level. If the significant other is aware of this going on and has no objections, then no, it's not cheating.

2. No, swinging isn't cheating since it's being done with the consent of both partners.

3. Paying for sex while married to someone is immoral unless the other spouse is aware and has no objections.

4. Tough question, but yes, it's immoral. I'd make an exception for those actively on the run, fearing for their lives because just going to court to get a divorce can make them local sitting ducks when restraining orders don't really mean much to the guy that wants to get even.

5. Believing the spouse to be dead or being unable to locate the spouse for a divorce (I think it takes seven years before the court grants a divorce in terms of abandonment -- my info could be outdated).
FyreGarnett 16 years ago
Wow. I have to admit, this is one of those cases where what I thought the general opinions would be aren't the case at all. I'll expand on that when I finish this project becuase I hope to get more input on this! The various views people take and the reasoning behind those views are fascinating to me - and I greatly appreciate everyone who has chimed in so far! I have a day or two before I have to sit down and actually write the final draft of this - what is here is enough to get me started - and I would love more input on this!

Thank you guys!!
Merreck 16 years ago
1) Is cybersex cheating?
Yes. I don't care how you look at it, whether it's considered RP or not. I've never participated in cybersex, nor have I had any online relationships outside of being in game friends with people; maybe I'm being narrow minded, but I feel that any type of sexual relationship requires both parties to be emotionally involved. I actually knew a married couple in EQ where the wife had a RP husband and her real husband was aware of this and thought nothing of it at the beginning. Whether or not they roleplayed sex, I don't know, but it had a severe impact on, and eventually ended her real marriage because she and this other guy were so involved with each other.

2) Is swinging cheating?
No. I don't view this as cheating, I see it as a lifestyle choice.

3) Is paying for sex outside a marriage immoral?
Yes. If a relationship lacks intimacy I feel it is better to figure out why first by talking or going to counciling rather than seeking satisfaction elsewhere. And, in the event that a situation is bad enough that it can't be resolved, then in my opinion it's time to end the relationship.

4) Is it immoral for a battered spouse to have an extra-marital relationship?
A lot of battered spouses have such low self esteem they don't feel like they can make it on their own, so they seek out someone else to move to before leaving their current spouse. So, I don't necessarily view it as immoral given the circumstances, but I do feel it is the wrong move to make because by moving from one person to the next it is very possible to wind up in the exact same situation.

5) Is there any circumstance under which having extra-marital relations would be the right thing to do?
Wouldn't this be considered swinging? I would only view it as the right thing to do if both partners were aware and in agreement with the relations. If this is not the case then I can't see it as the right thing to do since one swears to remain faithful to their partner by marrying them. In the event where a divorce is in progress then the idea of cheating really doesn't matter since, out side of the legal stuff, the marriage is pretty much over between the parties involved.