Friendship on E-bay?

Description (revised)
DUE TO MEDICAL EXPENSES AND OTHER FINANCIAL DIFFICULTIES I AM DOING SOMETHING I HAVE NEVER DONE BEFORE, NOR DO I BELIEVE IT HAS EVER BEEN DONE BEFORE! I AM SELLING MY FRIENDSHIP ON EBAY! I AM A CHRISTIAN MAN OF 42 YEARS OF AGE WITH A GREAT FAMILY WHO SUPPORTS ME IN THIS VENTURE . I PRAYED THIS MORNING AND ASKED THE LORD TO GIVE ME AN IDEA THAT WOULD HELP THE FAMILY FINANCIALLY AND ALSO BRING HAPPINESS TO ANOTHER AS WELL. IT CAME TO ME QUICKLY AS I WAS SHOWED A VISION IN MY MIND OF LONELY PEOPLE WITHOUT FAMILY OR FRIENDS TO KEEP IN TOUCH OR TO REMEMBER THEM AT THE HOLIDAYS OR EVEN ON THEIR BIRTHDAY! I AM ASKING FOR YOUR BID ON EBAY AS THIS WILL HONESTLY BE A TRUE BLESSING FOR THIS FAMILY AND THEREFORE I CAN BE A BLESSING TO YOU AS WELL. HERE'S HOW THIS CAN WORK, PLEASE MAKE MINIMUM BID TO START THIS OFF OR IF AT ALL POSSIBLE PLEASE USE BUY IT NOW TO ASSURE YOU DEFINITELY WIN IT . WINNER OF AUCTION WILL RECIEVE A WEEKLY EMAIL FOR CORRESPONDENCE AS A TRUE FRIEND WOULD AND SHOULD. I WILL ALSO SEND YOU AN ACTUAL BIRTHDAY CARD AND GIFT ON YOUR BIRTHDAY, YES YOU WILL BE REMEMBERED THIS YEAR! YOU WILL ALSO RECIEVE A CHRISTMAS CARD AND CHRISTMAS GIFT AS WELL. WHETHER YOU ARE ELDERLY,YOUNG,MALE OR FEMALE, IT DOESN'T MATTER, I WILL BE HONORED AND BLESSED TO HAVE YOU AS A FRIEND FOR THE COMPLETE 12 MONTH PERIOD FROM THE TIME YOU WIN THE AUCTION IT WILL BEGIN! MY FEEDBACK RATING OF 415 100% POSITIVE FEEDBACKS PROVES I'M AN HONEST,SINCERE PERSON AND I WOULD HOPE YOU GIVE ME THIS OPPORTUNITY TO BE YOUR FRIEND. I AM CONVINCED WITHOUT A DOUBT THE LORD WILL REACH SOMEONE TO RESPOND TO THIS AUCTION AS IT IS NOT A MERE COINCIDENCE THAT YOU ARE LOKING AT IT RIGHT NOW. AGAIN, ONE FULL YEAR OF WEEKLY EMAIL CORRESPONDENCE, PLUS ALL INFO MENTIONED ABOVE. YOU WILL BE THOUGHT OF AS PART OF MY FAMILY WITH RESPECT AND CONCERN. *(disclaimer: if for any reason the winner of this auction fails to conduct themselves in a proper manner and in any way is offensive in communication, the correspondence will end at that moment, ending agreement permanently!) I'M SURE THAT WOULDN'T HAPPEN, BUT TO PROTECT THE INTEGRITY OF THIS AGREEMENT IT HAD TO BE MENTIONED. AFTER THE YEAR EXPIRES, THE AGREEMENT CAN BE RENEWED ON AN ANNUAL BASIS AS THE CORRESPONDENCE COULD LAST AS LONG AS YOU WANT!! THIS WILL BE WONDERFUL FOR BOTH OF US, PLEASE CONSIDER IT,GOD BLESS YOU. **HOW MUCH IS FRIENDSHIP WORTH? THERE'S NO AMOUNT HIGH ENOUGH TO PAY FOR THE PRIVELEDGE, THE BID I'M ASKING FOR IS JUST ENOUGH TO HELP MY FAMILY IN FINANCIAL TROUBLES, THE FRIENDSHIP I'M OFFERING IS WORTH MUCH MORE THAN ANY DOLLAR AMOUNT** EBAYERS FROM USA AND WORLDWIDE ARE ENCOURAGED TO BID!!!!!!!!! **AN EBAYER EMAILED ME AND ASKED ME IF HE COULD BID FOR HIS ELDERLY GRANDMOTHER WHO WOULD ENJOY THE COMPANIONSHIP AND ATTENTION WEEKLY AND ON HER BIRTHDAY AND CHRISTMAS AS THE EBAYER IS THE ONLY FAMILY MEMBER TO KEEP IN TOUCH AS HE IS ON THE ROAD AS A TRUCKDRIVER AND WOULD NOT HAVE THE TIME TO MAKE HER FEEL CARED FOR AS SHE IS A LONELY PERSON . OF COURSE, THIS WOULD BE IDEAL AS A SPECIAL THOUGHT FOR AN ELDERLY PERSON WHO MAY BE ALONE CONSTANTLY AND EVEN THE SLIGHTEST WEEKLY EMAILS OR LETTER THROUGH THE MAIL IF REQUESTED WOULD MAKE A WORLD OF DIFFERENCE TO BRIGHTEN THEIR LIFE.**THIS IS NOT A SCAM OR FLY BY NIGHT OFFER, I AM ASKING FOR THE CHANCE TO PROVIDE YOU WITH AN HONEST ,SINCERE CORRESPONDENCE BY EMAIL OR BY U.S. MAIL IF NEED BE IF COMPUTER IS NOT ACCESSIBLE. PLEASE GIVE ME THE CHANCE AS FUNDS ARE URGENTLY NEEDED, IF BY CHANCE YOU WOULD RATHER NOT HAVE THE CORRESPONDENCE AND WOULD JUST LIKE TO DO A FINANCIAL MIRACLE FOR A FAMILY OF 5, THAT WOULD BE WELCOME AS WELL. ON BEHALF OF MY WIFE,14 YEAR OLD DAUGHTER,9 YEAR OLD DAUGHTER, 5 YEAR OLD DAUGHTER AND MYSELF, WE THANK YOU FOR ANY AND ALL YOU CAN DO, GOD BLESS-----------