The Techno Crayon / Machete / Gongaa 15 years ago

Machete

Yah!

The fake (at the time) trailer in the Grindhouse double feature was hilarious. It's kickasserrific that he decided to actually make the movie.

Cast is cuh-razy, with a bunch of RR's regulars:

Danny Trejo (woo!)
Michelle Rodriguez
Jessica Alba
Robert De Niro (!!!?!)
Lindsay Lohan
Cheech Marin (woo!)
Jeff Fahey (woo!)
Steven Seagal (lol?)
Don Johnson (keke)
Tom Savini (woo!)

People are already tearing it up on IMDB, so I'm excited to see how ridiculously over the top it'll be.

pharren 15 years ago

LOL, damn this looks great. Nice all-star cast. Who is the guy with the flower gun in the hospital? He looks familiar. And the guy with the goatee who hires him at the beginning?

Kelefane 15 years ago

Danny Trejo is one bad dude.

About time hes starred in his own movie, lol

Gongaa 15 years ago

pharren;97401

LOL, damn this looks great. Nice all-star cast. Who is the guy with the flower gun in the hospital? He looks familiar.

Ryan Christiansen, apparently. I've never seen anything he's been in.

pharren;97401

And the guy with the goatee who hires him at the beginning?

That's Jeff Fahey. He's done a ton of character work, but if you watched Lost, he was the pilot, Frank. He's been in a couple of other RR movies, too.

Also, while trying to figure out who the flower guy is, I noticed that Rose McGowan is in this, too, reprising her character from Planet Terror. Woo!

pharren 15 years ago

That's Jeff Fahey. He's done a ton of character work, but if you watched Lost, he was the pilot, Frank.

Lost? Really? Lost? FUCK LOST! HE WAS IN THE LAWNMOWER MAN! HE ***WAS*** THE LAWNMOWER MAN!!

Actually, that movie kinda sucked. I think I'll buy a used copy from Amazon.

Gongaa 15 years ago

pharren;97414

Lost? Really? Lost? FUCK LOST! HE WAS IN THE LAWNMOWER MAN! HE ***WAS*** THE LAWNMOWER MAN!!

:comfort

Lost rocked your granny's panties. :bday2

pharren 15 years ago

Well, that may be true, but it's like referring to Sean Connery as "that guy from The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen".

Gongaa 15 years ago

Calling Jeff Fahey "the guy from The Lawnmower Man" is like calling Sean Connery "the guy from Zardoz." Both are horrifyingly bad and better left unmentioned.

Also,

Kelefane;97403

Danny Trejo is one bad dude.

This.

pharren 15 years ago

For me, its more of a temporal thing than a quality thing. You are making me feel old. Where's my walker?

Danny Trejo ***IS*** one bad dude. And Jessica Alba is still smokin' hot. I don't particularly care for Robert De Niro anymore (gasp!), but everyone else I can deal with. I'm especially excited to see Steven Seagal get chopped into itty bitty pieces by Danny Trejo. Even if this movie sucks, it's going to be great.

pharren 15 years ago

I mean, really. How the hell can you top Cheech Marin, playing a priest, carrying dual shotguns? Lindsey Lohan as a gun-toting nun? A Harley-Davidson with a gatling gun mounted on the handlebars performing some Evel Knievel jump over a dozen cars with an explosion in the background?

YOU CANT

Gongaa 15 years ago

I was hoping you'd see my Zardoz and raise me something even more ridiculous. :'( But I know what you're saying - plus, I think we're about the same age??

Also, we might have to fight on the playground after school over that De Niro comment. No kicking in the nuts or using rocks.

Didn't Seagal get into some kind of trouble recently?

Gongaa 15 years ago

pharren;97428

YOU CANT

Here's the original trailer!

WARNING: NSFW NSFW NSFW NSFW NSFW NSFW

WARNING: NSFW NSFW NSFW NSFW NSFW NSFW

pharren 15 years ago

On April 12, 2010, 23-year-old Kayden Nguyen former executive/personal assistant of Seagal filed a lawsuit claiming sexual harassment, illegal trafficking of females for sex, failure to prevent sexual harassment, retaliation, wrongful termination and false representation about employment. Nguyen claims that she was asked to join Seagal's harem which included two Russian women and was to be a replacement of one of the Russian women who had sex with Seagal.

Sounds ridiculous, right? According to one of the guys I work with, Seagal is connected with the Mob somehow through some gangsters who live down here part-time or some crap. He's not even Italian. But who knows? This is a big organized-crime-money area, and stranger things have happened. So if it's true, that "illegal trafficking of females for sex" charge doesn't sound so incredible after all.

Robert De Niro is turning into the Keanu Reeves of the AARP actor world. Or maybe Ice Cube is a better comparison. He's always making the same damn face in every movie.

pharren 15 years ago

If comparing Robert De Niro to Keanu Reeves isn't upping the ante, then I guess I don't know how to play this game. *sigh* I AM MISUNDERSTOOD AND ALONE IN THIS DESOLATE PLACE blah blah insert more emo crap here.

Gongaa 15 years ago

pharren;97435

If comparing Robert De Niro to Keanu Reeves isn't upping the ante, then I guess I don't know how to play this game. *sigh* I AM MISUNDERSTOOD AND ALONE IN THIS DESOLATE PLACE blah blah insert more emo crap here.

I was asleep, bitch!

Still, Robert De Niro = Keanu Reeves is a tough sell. That's almost like comparing Anthony Hopkins in The Silence of the Lambs to Ben Affleck in Good Will Hunting.

pharren;97431