awol mia

So very glad to hear from you hun, though I wish things could be better. Hang in there, I raised my daughter by myself...not ideal but it can be done! :D
Take care, and see you when you're ready to come back.

Big hugs!!

You got a pic? I'll consider taking you in depending.

Your attitude is inspiring. You've been in our thoughts and we did miss your presence in mafia, but of course completely understand. It's good to hear from you and I'm sorry you're going through a difficult time with the guy and the place to stay and all. There are good things to look forward too, I think...challenging and good things. Hope you feel better.

Mushi that is fucked up. I am so sorry. Just remember, what you do now will effect the rest of your life, so please know all your choices. Good luck sweets /hug

Mushi, I'm available if you need someone to talk with at some point. I've been in a similar place, but I have a feeling you'll come out of it better than I did. My heart is with you.

If you need anything let us know. Hopefully the snow in your globe will settle onto something wonderful.

You would.

That completely sucks! Didn't you just buy that house too? It always seems in life that when things seem to be going the way you want them to that everything is shaken up inexplicably. I hope your name is on the deed!! Seems like to me you might have a commonlaw marriage and you can demand some sort of "half of everything" situation. Especially with the baby on the way. What a horrible thing to do to a woman expecting. I swear...there are some men that at least make the effort to sympathize...but if these other men even halfway knew how difficult pregnancy was they'd show a little bit more respect. I guess it's just because of being pregnant myself and therefore sensitive to your plight, I find myself wishing bad things for this guy who I don't know! Honestly, how can you go out and buy a house with a woman, knock her up and THEN decide you don't love her? He couldn't have figured this out a couple months ago?? How convenient. Convenient for him that he doesn't have to deal with progesterone, vomitting in public, extra blood and water in the system, 9 months of discomfort, grossness, waddling, and hormonal insanity ending with a football being pushed through his urethra which he thereafter has to feed using his own body. He can just shove you out the door since it's not his problem. Selfish moron. Man that makes me angry.

I hope you can find the strength to keep calm and relatively stress free through this difficult time. Lean on friends and family...don't try to do everything alone. And even though things don't seem as they should be now, keep in the front of your mind that the difficulties you're going through right now will suddenly be worth it when you're holding that little one. Things will come together. We'll be thinking of you. I'll add to Ryala's offer...drop me a note if you want to chat about anything.

thanks for all the kind words and thoughts everyone.

The best part is comming off my anxiety/depression medicine, /sarcasm off. So far he has the nerve to ask me everyother day if i have found a place yet. It also seems for some reason people have reservations about renting to pregnant people. Im tryin to get a 2 bedroom so the baby will have a room, and they dont want to rent a 2 bedroom to a single person. So they ask why and i say well im having a baby in july. All of a sudden they start to stammer one guy asked if i could work when i had a baby. Then they have 700 new questions and i just feel like they are already deciding they dont want to rent to me.

i know they cant do that, but i can hear it in their voices. I understand their concerns i have them too. What if i get put on bedrest? I'm having a hard time as it is now with being sick and tired constantly and then comming off the medicine is making me sick as well. My nerves are fried and i cry every 30 minutes and i just want to give up half the time. It makes it hard to want to goto work. I'm tryin toget put on 8 hour shifts instead of 12 so we'll see how that goes. But /sigh. everythings too scarey.

I cant wait to get out of the stupid house. We were renting to own and we had just done all the remodeling. But since he is friends with the landlord and well, me and the landlord HATE each other she was more than happy to sign a new lease with him. So i am screwed. He gave me 500 bucks out of the 5k that he got recent for some of his work. YAY THANKS PENIS. He wont tell his family about me being pregnant as he is trying to hide it. He wouldnt let me tell friends at his work but i have anyways, mayb they will take away shifts from him for being a deadbeat dad ^_^

it just all seems to much at times. more often than not. I'm keeping the baby no matter how hard it will be. It's hung on through all this so far right? He doesnt deserve the baby and i wish there was a way i could keep custody from him or limit it. I dont understand how a person who tried SO HARD to get its life exstinguished and when i refused booted us out and im supossed to just be happy to hand her/him over to him? I dont want him to have joint custody, but it seems it doesnt matter where i turn he keeps winning and i keep getting screwed. Maybe i should move out of state =p

ah, im going on and on again. Sorry bout that. I keep tryin to make snese of everything but its not working.

Thanks again everyone. <3

Sorry to hear that. I hate to hear about people who are suppossedly in a commited relationship that some rocky times come and one or the other stops loving. I cant fathom saying I am in love with anyone and not wanting to be with them for the rest of my life. But its sounds like your man is like most people. Love is a convenience for them.

Love/Marriage is 2 things

1 Work

2 Respecting each other

Most people dont realize that when they throw the L word around.

Im sorry you had such an asshole you felll for. 5 years ago I did not want to live when my ex pulled the number she did on me. I honestly was hoping something or someone would end it for me. I never contemplated suicide but I sure as hell wanted to die. Trust me things will get better. It will take some time but they will.

I would do what you are suggesting. Move out of the state and never speak to him again. At some point in his life he will have great regret for what he's doing.

Anyway Best of luck to you.

S

Like Sergon said...it does get better, no matter how awful it may seem now.

The best thing you can do now is forget about the guy and get as far away from him as you can. Take it all one day at a time, and put your baby first.

I was so very lucky, after I refused to marry my daughter's father, he decided he wanted nothing to do with either of us (now he would have made a great husband and father, right? Not.). My daughter grew up knowing the whole story, although I had no reason to tell her anything more than her 'father' just wasn't adult enough to handle the responsibilities. She's never had any desire to meet him, even though we know where his family lives.

I was also lucky that I already had my own two bedroom place, which I had to move from once she was born (they had a pool and didn't rent to people with children). But because I had been renting there, I had no problems getting another place once she was born.

If you can, rely on YOUR family for support, and have nothing to do with his. In the long run, it might make things easier. Of course I know everyone is different, and just because one thing worked for me, doesn't mean something else might not be better for you.

IM me if you need to vent, and hang in there hun.

Hugs!

Here's my opinion. Don't talk to him for the next 2 years. Seriously. And here's why.....

9 months pregnancy.
9 months after that its abandondment. Which means you go to court, file for abandonment, and get full custody.

Now you have court ordered full custody, and he has to pay.... child support. Basically he's at your mercy, because he abandoned you. If he doesn't make an attempt to contact you during that 18 months its on his head, and in most states thats about 1/3 of his income will go to you for screwing you over.

Now I am a mean son of a bitch. I believe that if you create a child by accident or by intention that is your job to take care of your family, and like it or not both the mom and kid are now family. If you didn't want that to happen, guess what, don't put your penis in her!!!!! Its not hard to avoid that. Besides if you lack that level of self control, you deserve to be taught a lesson. I am not saying you should take this course of action, its just one available.

Just an FYI. My fiance and I talked about what happened if she had gotten pregnant when we were just fuck-buddies. My response was that I would have gone to court and tried for full custody of the kid. She said my response was unnerving, as most guys would have ducked it. My kid will be raised by my values, and know that I am his/her dad.

Your story tells me your babies dad is an immature child that needs a rude awakening. I would take every step to protect your interests at this point, as you can not trust him (his actions speak enough), and he will fuck you over to do whats best for him. Do what ever is best for you, and do not take his life or his needs into consideration. Only two things matter in your dealings with him from here out.
1.) You
2.) Your kid.

Notice nothing about him, his friends, his wants, or his needs are on this list. He doesn't want to take responsbility for his actions, fuck him.

Maybe I shouldn't drink, then rant. It makes me seem mean.

No - not mean, honest, and intelligient.
It's very refreshing to hear a guy talk like that.

Oh. Move to Nevada (Vegas), Maryland or Ohio. I know all 3 of those states have really nasty deadbeat dad laws. Basically if your in that state, and he doesn't pay support, a bench warrant goes out for his arrest. If he ever gets caught speeding, applies for a job, does a background check, he comes up wanted. No new jobs for him. Those 3 states do not play around.....

But thats only if your really mad :)

I have friends and family in Vegas if you do actually decide to move there who I'm sure would be willing to help out if I asked.

you know housing in michigan is ridiculous compaired to housing in nevada and ohio. it would figure! I dont see how he could get custody anyways seeing as we were never married. I would think visitation would be about it.

today is a good day tho! i got a hair cut and did my hair/make up bought a new outfit and then went to his work to 'eat' actually to tell all my old friends there what happened. it was wonderful! everyone was shocked and dissapointed in him. made me happy! they were all encouraging and one of them gave me a phone number for her landlord who i called and he has a good deal flat i can take a look at soon! I'm excited and i felt good about myself being all dolled up. His sister came over to tell me she didn't hate me and if i needed anything to call her and that shed goto my dr appointments with me if i wanted. i was shocked and said thanks. I thought she had it out for me for sure. it was odd. Then when i went to leave STD (sperm that donated) walked over to me. i ignored him and he says 'hey, whats up. come to get something to eat?'

why the fuck are you talking to me is what i wanted to say, instead i said yes. He then tells me his sister told him about my next doctors appointment and that he'll be there for it. I simply said you dont have to you. He got mad and said 'i said ill be there so i will' and walked away.

LAUGH. lets see if he remembers. I dont really want him there either. So now what? He can wait in the waiting room. why is he even faking more? I wrote him a long letter describing how i thought and felt he was a liar and a minipulator and how i hoped he never dated anyone every again so he couldnt lie and hurt them. Yesterday he tells me to unhook the satellite recievers myself because its my shit and he dont care, today its im comming to your doctors appointment? Maybe i should change the day ^_^

my mom says i should stop being so mean. What if he changes his mind and wants to try and make things right blah blah. I'd rather be mean then be depressed and let him think he has any control over me. If he wants me back ever he'd have SOME MAJOR ass kissing to do and even then its iffy. I'd rather find someone worthy of my time and love. I'm tired of being so giving and not recieving.

i'm really excited about this home to look at though. And that i was pretty today and flaunted it! Internet soon i hope! and then i can get back into Vzones again and SA and art and yay.

and prosecution, it's rare to hear a guy speak with morals! mean or not! your woman is lucky. I always thought you stood by someone if they were having your baby but i guess i was wrong. Damn country music tells lies in their songs!

Just remember, it takes as much emotion to hate someone as it does to love them. Just say fuck it and move on. If he wants to come to the appointments...fine, whatever. If he wants to be a father, he'll continue to go to them, but don't get your hopes up high. Think about the baby and embrace the support you're getting. Being spiteful will just give you wrinkles. =/

This isn't just now, but for the rest of your life. I don't know, Mushi, just don't waste your time hating him when you can be taking care of yourself and loving your baby...or god forbid you end up wondering if you made your decision for yourself and your baby or because he told you not to.

/hug

Glad things are starting to look up ^_^

/fuggle

What Roz says is on the dime. It's you and your babe now. Don't let him have ANY power over you...and that means allowing yourself to feel power over him. Let it go as quickly as you can, and start your new life. Once you're living for yourself, totally, you'll be so much happier.

Hugs, and glad to see you around as much as you have been ;)
Fallon says to say hi to Panos too XD

lol you guys are right i know! It feels as if my scab is doing well in the healing process and im tryin not to pick at it!

Scarey enough i cant wait to start dating so i can have hugs again soon. This being pregnant stuff is hella emotion i feel crazy. I sobbed through the little mermaid!

' under the sea..(sob)we got a hot crustation band..(sob) ..this little snail here knows how to wail here..[sob]

oh and does anyone know if they make pregnancy books for single moms? im tired of reading how daddy will feel and how nows the time i should be talking with him about sex. /rolls eyes. If not i'm writing one!

<3

Panos misses Fallon! He got hugs =(