Seriously, what the ?!!!
http://www.thenewstribune.com/news/local/story/5620408p-5048382c.html
Kyle Moore of Milton dropped his 14-year-old daughter, Melissa, off at a Tacoma bowling alley Friday night, knowing she was meeting up with older friends for a ride to a dance party in Seattle, one with a zombie theme.
He didn’t kiss her for fear of smearing her black and white makeup – a get-up that would enable her to get into the “Better Off Undead†rave for a discounted price, $15. He didn’t hug her for fear of getting the makeup on himself.
But he did tell her he loved her as she left the car, and he’s thankful for that. The next morning, the ninth-grader at Columbia Junior High in Fife became the youngest of six people massacred by a gunman who then took his own life.
She had recently been out all night for a St. Patrick’s Day rave. She always called, and she always came home when she said she would. He said he tried to be a cool dad, so that Melissa and Cameron, 16, would be open with him.
Sometimes, it worked: She admitted she smoked pot on occasion, but promised him she didn’t drink or do the harder drugs available in the rave scene.
Seriously what the hell? She was 14, going to Seattle, from Tacoma, for a party. What parent says that having their kid drive about 30 miles to go to an all night party is the a good thing? I'd rather have a resentful teenaged daughter grounded all the time rather be a cool dad. Fuck that.
Honestly, as a dad, I feel bad that someone's daughter was killed, but on the other hand as an adult who is a parent I have ZERO sympathy for the man. He knew that the situations that his daughter was getting into were going to be inherently dangerous. Damn rave party with people that were 17-22. It is people like this that should not have children, because being a parent is not about being cool or understanding, its about passing on your experiences and guiding your kids into adulthood until they are responsible enought to make their own informed decisions.
14, for fucks sakes.
ROzbeans
20 years ago
I blame Kevin Fenderline for Britney Spears. He is the root of all evil.
Draegloth
20 years ago
It's understandable. It's an emotional response brought on by fear of being in the same situation, as I explained. This is what happens when we let our emotions override our intellect so often that it becomes not only socially acceptable, but expected to react in this way.
Attachment leads to suffering. Ego leads to suffering.
Your children are going to die. Your parents are going to die. You are going to die. Everything that lives dies. Do not be so foolish and arrogant to think that you can make any choices or do any deeds that will change these facts.
Enjoy the time you have, and live consciously.
I just don't understand how you guys can just automatically blame the father for something this random.
It's understandable. It's an emotional response brought on by fear of being in the same situation, as I explained. This is what happens when we let our emotions override our intellect so often that it becomes not only socially acceptable, but expected to react in this way.
Attachment leads to suffering. Ego leads to suffering.
Your children are going to die. Your parents are going to die. You are going to die. Everything that lives dies. Do not be so foolish and arrogant to think that you can make any choices or do any deeds that will change these facts.
Enjoy the time you have, and live consciously.
Prosecution
20 years ago
He's from Largo, MD. True story. Ask Nektar
ROzbeans
I blame Kevin Fenderline for Britney Spears. He is the root of all evil.
He's from Largo, MD. True story. Ask Nektar
Prosecution
20 years ago
Honestly, I have side with Vebran through this whole argument. Here's the reason why:
I said "Sure honey. I'll let you stay out overnight at an undisclosed location with people who are older then you, doing activities that I am unaware of that may involve drugs or alcohol. I realize your 14, and are inexperienced in life compared to the company you will keep, but its still a good idea." out loud.
Then I immediatly smacked myself in the forehead, and thought. Damn thats really stupid!
Sorry, but at 14, I don't care what anyone says, you are still immature, inexperienced, and unprepared at life. That goes across the board. Life teaches you leasons, and your parents are there to help you learn them in a safe environment, where they are close enough to bail you out. If that dad was allowing this behavior to continue, it was only a matter of time before his daughter ended up in a situation that she could not control. Instead of drunk in the bed of some 25 year old on X, she ended up dead. Sad story, but she should have been home by 10pm the prior night.
I said "Sure honey. I'll let you stay out overnight at an undisclosed location with people who are older then you, doing activities that I am unaware of that may involve drugs or alcohol. I realize your 14, and are inexperienced in life compared to the company you will keep, but its still a good idea." out loud.
Then I immediatly smacked myself in the forehead, and thought. Damn thats really stupid!
Sorry, but at 14, I don't care what anyone says, you are still immature, inexperienced, and unprepared at life. That goes across the board. Life teaches you leasons, and your parents are there to help you learn them in a safe environment, where they are close enough to bail you out. If that dad was allowing this behavior to continue, it was only a matter of time before his daughter ended up in a situation that she could not control. Instead of drunk in the bed of some 25 year old on X, she ended up dead. Sad story, but she should have been home by 10pm the prior night.
Den
20 years ago
I disagreed with his parenting method, for all the reasons stated.
I did not wish anything so horrific as losing his daughter, on him for it.
But I believe it was her time.
If she had been home in the living room watching tv, she would have still died, somehow...
Thus, I also agree with Drae...enjoy the time you have with those you love...you never know when it will end.
I did not wish anything so horrific as losing his daughter, on him for it.
But I believe it was her time.
If she had been home in the living room watching tv, she would have still died, somehow...
Thus, I also agree with Drae...enjoy the time you have with those you love...you never know when it will end.
Temprah
20 years ago
well.. people today have a VERY warped opinion of what is grown up when you look at history. Compared to even 50 years ago we treat our kids way differently... as brainless and immature until the magic age of 18. Childhood is a modern invention. People are CAPABLE of being mature and fully independant, functioning individuals at a very young age. We as a society have decided they shouldn't be and try to shelter our kids as long as possible.
She was 14... capable of functioning as an adult if raised to do so. My reasoning? At 14 my Granny was married and gave birth to my Mom. This was 1954. Not too long ago! But there's no way that would fly today. I think it was really in the 1950's that American society went into a phase to allow the innocent and idyllic notion of children being sweet and chaste, growing up with a childhood of worryfree time until they were suddenly 18 and they turned into adults.
That's part of what's wrong today, kids aren't mature enough..
She was 14... capable of functioning as an adult if raised to do so. My reasoning? At 14 my Granny was married and gave birth to my Mom. This was 1954. Not too long ago! But there's no way that would fly today. I think it was really in the 1950's that American society went into a phase to allow the innocent and idyllic notion of children being sweet and chaste, growing up with a childhood of worryfree time until they were suddenly 18 and they turned into adults.
That's part of what's wrong today, kids aren't mature enough..
Den
20 years ago
People are living years longer than they used to. I don't think it's a bad thing for kids to be kids longer. They have plenty of time to grow up and find their place in the world.
Draegloth
20 years ago
I disagree with you, Shay. Longer to live means you should live longer. Being coddled is not living, in my opinion.
ROzbeans
20 years ago
I still blame Kevin Federline.
Draegloth
20 years ago
he did ruin one of the hottest pieces of jail-bait ass on the planet...
Den
20 years ago
I don't think having kids be kids is coddling.
Dia
20 years ago
1954 didnt face the same type of issues that 2006 does. I'd rather of lived back then!
i think now, people are just being offensive to others on this board.
i think now, people are just being offensive to others on this board.
Draegloth
20 years ago
"1954 didn't face the same type of issues that 2006 does."
First, I'd say that statement is not entirely based in reality. Second, even if that was the case, do you think that it could have something to do with the fact that children grew up quicker and learned personal responsibility at a younger age?
"I don't think having kids be kids is coddling."
Reality is reality. You can only prepare your children for a small part of it in a vacuum.
First, I'd say that statement is not entirely based in reality. Second, even if that was the case, do you think that it could have something to do with the fact that children grew up quicker and learned personal responsibility at a younger age?
"I don't think having kids be kids is coddling."
Reality is reality. You can only prepare your children for a small part of it in a vacuum.
Den
20 years ago
And who lives in a vacuum?
Den
20 years ago
Besides which, having been a child of the 50's and 60's, I know from experience that my childhood was much less frightning, and stressful than my daughter's was. I could walk a mile to school, alone, without fear of being molested or kidnapped. I could play outside until 9pm at night, playing hide and seek with the neighbor kids, and no one worried. I didn't hear a cuss word until I was in junior high...my parents didn't say them, they weren't on tv or the movies that I saw...I had household chores, as did my daughter, but I rarely had homework until high school. I played with my friends, went to school, and enjoyed a pretty normal home life...but one that wasn't full of things to be wary or scared of.
Such cannot be said for my daughter. Yet we both grew up into happy, functioning adults, and I, as well as she, attribute most of it to our parenting.
Such cannot be said for my daughter. Yet we both grew up into happy, functioning adults, and I, as well as she, attribute most of it to our parenting.
Vebran
20 years ago
:looney What? You must be joking. Even a child of the 70's and 80's faced vastly difference issues. Not saying that it was an entirely less frightening experience (hello Cold War and worrying about nuclear war), but day to day it was much simplier.
Draegloth
"1954 didn't face the same type of issues that 2006 does."
First, I'd say that statement is not entirely based in reality. Second, even if that was the case, do you think that it could have something to do with the fact that children grew up quicker and learned personal responsibility at a younger age?
"I don't think having kids be kids is coddling."
Reality is reality. You can only prepare your children for a small part of it in a vacuum.
:looney What? You must be joking. Even a child of the 70's and 80's faced vastly difference issues. Not saying that it was an entirely less frightening experience (hello Cold War and worrying about nuclear war), but day to day it was much simplier.
Draegloth
20 years ago
I mean that a child can only grow so far under a parent's tutelage. We've made it acceptable to push the age of adulthood up from about 12 to about 21 in about 100 years.
What did your daughter really have to fear? Did she frequently get asked to take rides in cars with strangers? Were many of her friends mugged and raped on the way home from school? Was she ever confronted by a murderer? Honestly, where did the fear come from?
What you send out into the world you get back from the world. Maybe if society stopped worrying about things to be afraid of, there would be fewer things to be afraid of. Maybe we wouldn't stereotype people and make them into criminals in our minds before they ever thought to buy a gun in the first place. Fear is a self feeding thing on a personal level as well as on a societal level. The speed at which information travels now makes this worse because people are not individually capable of separating what they imagine from reality. If you think that group of minorities is going to car jack you, you think and act like a victim, which, in turn, makes them criminals in your mind.
But anyway... yeah, it's Federline's fault.
What did your daughter really have to fear? Did she frequently get asked to take rides in cars with strangers? Were many of her friends mugged and raped on the way home from school? Was she ever confronted by a murderer? Honestly, where did the fear come from?
What you send out into the world you get back from the world. Maybe if society stopped worrying about things to be afraid of, there would be fewer things to be afraid of. Maybe we wouldn't stereotype people and make them into criminals in our minds before they ever thought to buy a gun in the first place. Fear is a self feeding thing on a personal level as well as on a societal level. The speed at which information travels now makes this worse because people are not individually capable of separating what they imagine from reality. If you think that group of minorities is going to car jack you, you think and act like a victim, which, in turn, makes them criminals in your mind.
But anyway... yeah, it's Federline's fault.
Den
20 years ago
Yes, my daughter was approached by a man in a car when she was in the fifth grade, in the freaking parking lot of the elementary school! Fortunately, she knew what to do and ran back to the office to report him. They never found him to my knowledge, but every freaking time I hear about a young girl being picked up, only to be found murdered and raped in a field somewhere I shake from the thought of 'there but by the grace of God could my daughter have gone.' And yet I didn't keep her locked in a vacuum. She had a childhood full of fun things to do, she traveled home from Thailand alone when she was 15, but arrangements were made to make sure she was accounted for when she had to change planes in Singapore. I didn't have her just get on a plane and trust that she would be able to make all the connections, etc...even if she might have been able to.
I also had a close friend raped in a shopping mall bathroom in Hawaii when she was 18 years old...so, yea...I can honestly say in the last 20 years my own experiences have been a lot more scary than the first 20 years
I also had a close friend raped in a shopping mall bathroom in Hawaii when she was 18 years old...so, yea...I can honestly say in the last 20 years my own experiences have been a lot more scary than the first 20 years
Nektar
20 years ago
18 in Quebec, a Canadian province with strong European values, where parents tend to cut their children more slack, and where the crime rates pale in comparison to your own.
Draegloth
I mean that a child can only grow so far under a parent's tutelage. We've made it acceptable to push the age of adulthood up from about 12 to about 21 in about 100 years.
18 in Quebec, a Canadian province with strong European values, where parents tend to cut their children more slack, and where the crime rates pale in comparison to your own.
Gylius
20 years ago
Well this is starting to get further from the original point, but I will speak in regards to Shay. Do you honestly think that in the 50s and 60s there weren't murders, rapes, and molestations? I'm going to guess you lived in a nice neighborhood where that stuff didn't happen, but that doesn't mean it didn't happen. Everything you described that you did when you were growing up is what I did when I was growing up. That isn't time period specific, that is area specific.
If you really want to get into the details about that time period. Molestations and rapes simply weren't reported as often, but they still happened. The best example I can give of this is the Catholic Church. The Church knew about the molestations for YEARS and YEARS before it ever came to the national radar.
But anyway. If you raise a child to take on more responsibility earlier then they will be more adult like. Being an adult isn't about age, it's about maturity. I probably won't be an "adult" until I have a kid. Until then I'm going to leaving life in an unsafe fashion for me and my liver. However, like I said earlier my mom was working almost full time at 13. So what's an adult?
If you really want to get into the details about that time period. Molestations and rapes simply weren't reported as often, but they still happened. The best example I can give of this is the Catholic Church. The Church knew about the molestations for YEARS and YEARS before it ever came to the national radar.
But anyway. If you raise a child to take on more responsibility earlier then they will be more adult like. Being an adult isn't about age, it's about maturity. I probably won't be an "adult" until I have a kid. Until then I'm going to leaving life in an unsafe fashion for me and my liver. However, like I said earlier my mom was working almost full time at 13. So what's an adult?