I was just having a conversation with my husband about this topic last night. We're a mixed couple, I'm mixed...filipina with some european and he's black.
When it comes to racism, I've been personally offended twice in my lifetime. Once by my father's family when they realized I married and had a child with a black man. I have since disowned that entire side of my family and don't even claim any part of it. Another time, I was in highschool and someone mistook my background as "chinese" and called me a "chink." I was more offended by the fact they didn't know my background and couldn't get the racial slur right, if anything.
Unless you're one of the sex, religion, creed, origin, sexual orientation, etc. that a racial slur or stereotypical phrase pertains to...I don't think you have a right to be offended by a word or phrase.
Unless you make an extreme effort to sanitize your day to day conversation, anyone can interpret anything to be offensive. These words and phrases only hold as much power as we let them.
Racial slurs for adjectives - an incident at Best Buy.
So there I am in Best Buy, walking off disgusted with my husband and daughter looking over 360 games that only appeal to them. I declare that I would be in the dvd horror section, picking out an expensive movie when a female and male employee walk by me and another woman talking about some game. Loud and clear as a bell, the male exclaims:
'Oh man, that's just JEWED!'
What the...? I turned and watched the two walk off laughing. The male is Caucasian and the female is spanish. My mouth drops open and my attempt to find an old horror movie made in the 80's has been aborted. I look at the woman standing next to me who is also watching the pair. She looks back at the movies, shakes her head and sighs.
'Did he...just say what I think he just said?' I ask her slowly.
She looked at me and nodded. 'Yes, he did say what we think he just said.'
'Did he say...?'
'He sure did say...'
I took a step past her and tried tippy toeing over the shelves to see where he went. I look back and her and ask again.
'He did say...'
She laughed, 'Yeah and I can't believe he said it either.'
'Oh no.' I walk off towards the employee and stop him over by the car alarms.
'Hi, excuse me?'
The male is now standing with 3 other employees who all stop and look at me.
'Did you just say the word 'Jewed' while you were walking thru the dvd horror section?'
Little smile, but mostly blank look, 'Oh yeah, I did.'
'....Uh...you are aware that...that's a bad thing?'
'I was just talking about some new game release.'
'Wh...?' I reached out and touched his name tag. TIM. 'Thank you, Tim.'
I go back to the 360 section and tell Mike what happened. He gave me a sad look and said, 'Well, was he young?' He was. 'Well...that generation...'
I walk off again, this time towards the digital cameras. I ask a nice older man if I could speak to a manager. He was most helpful and directed me to 'Darren.'
I start with my story, 'Ok...now...I'm old. I'm in my 30's...maybe it's just me but...' Then I tell him the whole story.
Darren replies with his eyes wide, 'I'm sorry, what?'
I explain again.
'Ma'am...I am SO sorry.' He goes on to tell me about Best Buy not have tolerance for intolerance and said he would talk to him. I explained I wasn't trying to narc on him and get him fired but maybe it wasn't my position to let him know that he's a pig. That would be more Darren's job.
So...is it me or is the younger generation living by a different set of socially acceptable rules? Mike and I discussed political correctness but I said, how could any kid NOT know that saying something was JEWED was a racial slur and offensive? In this day and age, where racial strife seems so prevalent in schools and tv. Mike countered, 60 years after the Holocaust, how could a 20 year know? Right now the racial tension is with black, muslims and latinos. Gone are the days of jews being persecuted, seemingly.
Is it me...?
Laney
19 years ago
Mylec
19 years ago
Vulash is a hobbit? :(
Vulash;70785
Extreme example. I have hairy toes.
Vulash is a hobbit? :(
Verileah
19 years ago
I think there's a distinction between thinking something is wrong and getting offended. Even if you are not one to get offended, you can still believe that using words in that way is undesirable, and try to make the world a better place by doing what Roz did and and saying something, and by doing what Adiene does and raise your kids to not say those words. Offense doesn't really enter into it much imo - it's about what kind of world you want to live in and what you believe you can do to make it better. Saying that people shouldn't get offended by every little thing when they point out that using these words is wrong seems like an attempt to negate their arguments by making it about the emotional response rather than the reasonable one.
Calimaryn
19 years ago
Sure words grow and evolve, just as cultures and organisms do. But personally I dislike the fact that we have these words in the first place. The only reason to put another person down is to try to make yourself feel better, bigger and more powerful. Realize that we are all HUMANS despite skin tone, mental abilities or religion.
It doesnt matter what you look like, comprehend or preach, inside everyone is red and delicious.
It doesnt matter what you look like, comprehend or preach, inside everyone is red and delicious.
Den
19 years ago
And just how much of Cyrus is inside you girl??? lol
Calimaryn;70805
... inside everyone is red and delicious.
And just how much of Cyrus is inside you girl??? lol
ROzbeans
19 years ago
I had no idea gyped was a racial slur. I said that in elementary school - are y'all sure? I mean, just because it's spelled close to it, maybe it's not it. Oh hell, who knows. I'm not trying to be a prude about the situation, I just thought it was fucked up. I took a step back and thought, 'shit am I being overly pc? WTF NO, that was just fucking rude.' And it was rude. You're at your JOB, slang stays at home for christ sakes. Say it in front of your mother, father, sister, rabbi, I don't give a fuck, just not at your place of work. McDonalds or the white house.
And I'd like to thank bendir for that little bit of comic relief. I seriously laughed my ass off, but there are a lot of people who are hyper PC and I don't think that's necessary, but then who says where the line is drawn?
I do...as a parent for my immediate environment and family. My happy place will not be tainted. =(
And I'd like to thank bendir for that little bit of comic relief. I seriously laughed my ass off, but there are a lot of people who are hyper PC and I don't think that's necessary, but then who says where the line is drawn?
I do...as a parent for my immediate environment and family. My happy place will not be tainted. =(
Vebran
19 years ago
? Seriously what the hell?
So basically what I'm taking from this, is that it should be alright to say all the racial slurs as long as I'm not saying it in front of the people that it would offend? Or that I should just say, "Oh well, at least there are no black, italian, jew, etc., here to get offended so all is well"?
Do this extend to how people look? Should my daughter not get offended, if one day someone says something like, "All those damn lazy niggers" in front of here She looks white, so should she offended or not at that statement just because she doesn't look like she has a black grandfather?
I had no great desire to jump on this thread because I had discussed it enough with my wife over dinner. I thought in the context that if the young man had been talking with his friends and joking, then no real harm, as we have all done this at some point or another. In addition I'm sure that he had no clue what it really meant as some people are just ignorant of things like this. However, he will find out, probably in an uncomfortable way, that when you are at work there are certain things that probably shouldn't be said.
Laney;70799
Unless you're one of the sex, religion, creed, origin, sexual orientation, etc. that a racial slur or stereotypical phrase pertains to...I don't think you have a right to be offended by a word or phrase.
Unless you make an extreme effort to sanitize your day to day conversation, anyone can interpret anything to be offensive. These words and phrases only hold as much power as we let them.
? Seriously what the hell?
So basically what I'm taking from this, is that it should be alright to say all the racial slurs as long as I'm not saying it in front of the people that it would offend? Or that I should just say, "Oh well, at least there are no black, italian, jew, etc., here to get offended so all is well"?
Do this extend to how people look? Should my daughter not get offended, if one day someone says something like, "All those damn lazy niggers" in front of here She looks white, so should she offended or not at that statement just because she doesn't look like she has a black grandfather?
I had no great desire to jump on this thread because I had discussed it enough with my wife over dinner. I thought in the context that if the young man had been talking with his friends and joking, then no real harm, as we have all done this at some point or another. In addition I'm sure that he had no clue what it really meant as some people are just ignorant of things like this. However, he will find out, probably in an uncomfortable way, that when you are at work there are certain things that probably shouldn't be said.
Eve
19 years ago
Jipped/gyped however you wanna spell it, did indeed come from the gypsies. Went to Wikipedia to get all the meanings:
When we named our daughter Gypsy, my father's one complaint was that he didn't want her nickname to be Gyp. He raises hunting dogs, and commonly refers to the young females as jips; see the second definition up there.
You can even look up the definition of gyp in the dictionary/thesaurus online. I can't seem to find anything on jew or jewed, other than of course the definition of Jew as it pertains to the religious sect. From everything I've read before it refers to the stereotype that all Jews were greedy bankers/businessmen and liked to haggle until they got the cheapest deals. *shrug* To me, that's not any more offensive than the stereotype that all gypsies must have been thieves. In both cases, I'm sure it was indeed true quite often, otherwise the stereotypes would never have come about.
As for the rest of the argument, I plead the 5th ;)
Gyp may mean:
- A slang term (see Gyp (slang)) referencing thieving Gypsies,
- A female dog before age 1, or,
- The pen name of Sibylle Gabrielle Marie Antoinette Riqueti de Mirabeau, Comtesse de Martel de Janville
- A dance figure (English Morris Dancing) usually a half-gyp or whole-gyp
- A slang term in the UK and Commonwealth countries referring to something being painful: "My leg is giving my gyp". May also be spelt Gip or Jip.
When we named our daughter Gypsy, my father's one complaint was that he didn't want her nickname to be Gyp. He raises hunting dogs, and commonly refers to the young females as jips; see the second definition up there.
Main Entry: gyp
Function: verb
Text: to rob by the use of trickery or threats < gypped them into spending a fortune on counterfeit jewels, not real diamonds> -- see FLEECE
You can even look up the definition of gyp in the dictionary/thesaurus online. I can't seem to find anything on jew or jewed, other than of course the definition of Jew as it pertains to the religious sect. From everything I've read before it refers to the stereotype that all Jews were greedy bankers/businessmen and liked to haggle until they got the cheapest deals. *shrug* To me, that's not any more offensive than the stereotype that all gypsies must have been thieves. In both cases, I'm sure it was indeed true quite often, otherwise the stereotypes would never have come about.
As for the rest of the argument, I plead the 5th ;)
Mylec
19 years ago
Quote:
Main Entry: gyp
Function: verb
Text: to rob by the use of trickery or threats < gypped them into spending a fortune on counterfeit jewels, not real diamonds> -- see FLEECE
I strenuously object to the use of the word fleece in this manner, as it is an insult to all my friends of the sheep genus everywhere!
Main Entry: gyp
Function: verb
Text: to rob by the use of trickery or threats < gypped them into spending a fortune on counterfeit jewels, not real diamonds> -- see FLEECE
I strenuously object to the use of the word fleece in this manner, as it is an insult to all my friends of the sheep genus everywhere!
Verileah
19 years ago
I wanted to address this and I remembered a conversation on another board I visit, so I'll just post it here.
Question:
Answer:
From everything I've read before it refers to the stereotype that all Jews were greedy bankers/businessmen and liked to haggle until they got the cheapest deals. *shrug* To me, that's not any more offensive than the stereotype that all gypsies must have been thieves. In both cases, I'm sure it was indeed true quite often, otherwise the stereotypes would never have come about.
I wanted to address this and I remembered a conversation on another board I visit, so I'll just post it here.
Question:
However, I do find it curious that Jews have been the designated scape goat for social and economic problems in such geographically dispersed locations around the globe.
Were I a more ignorant man, I'd be guided by the old adage of "Where there's smoke, there's fire." Anyone have any INTELLIGENT (non-religious, unsarcastic) insight into why the Jews seem to draw the ire of every population they integrate into?
Answer:
[Poster], there's no short answer to that question. Here are some very cursory explanations:
In Europe, usury was against Christian law, so Jews were traditionally money-lenders. Whom do people resent more than those they are indebted to? Jews also played a major role in the establishment of the current European banking system, which again garnered resentment. Also, since the laws of kashrut require strict cleanliness and prohibit pork and shellfish, Jews did not contract several diseases that Gentiles did. When Europeans colonized the world, they brought their prejudices with them.
Laney
19 years ago
Nah, I left out background. My children are mixed as well. If someone used the "N" word around them they have every right to be offended and so would I. Same if I was a called a "N" lover,. What I don't understand is how caucasians are offended by the "N" word.
It's still up in the air whether african-americans are offended by the "N" word or if it's just a part of their culture now. However, african-americans are offended if someone outside the group uses the word.
Or how a straight person with nobody that's gay in their family is offended by the phrase, "That's gay" or a perfectly abled person is offended by the phrase, "that's retarded"
Let me just ask. Am I the only one that gets a laugh out of Dave Chapelle, Carlos Mencina, Southpark, Boondocks and the other equal opportunity hater comedy specials? If you laugh at the racial jokes and stereotypes that are in these shows but you're hammering someone because of a phrase or joke they say, wouldn't that make a you a hypocrite?
As I stated before, unless you completely sanitize your daily conversation...you're bound to offend someone no matter what...so I don't understand the hang up if someone uses, "that's jewed", "that's gay" and/or "that's retarded" Anyone can interpret anything as offensive. I do agree that the kid shouldn't have been using the phrase in such an enviroment. Just because it's not professional and someone could and did take a offense to it.
Vebran;70811
? Seriously what the hell?
So basically what I'm taking from this, is that it should be alright to say all the racial slurs as long as I'm not saying it in front of the people that it would offend? Or that I should just say, "Oh well, at least there are no black, italian, jew, etc., here to get offended so all is well"?
Do this extend to how people look? Should my daughter not get offended, if one day someone says something like, "All those damn lazy niggers" in front of here She looks white, so should she offended or not at that statement just because she doesn't look like she has a black grandfather?
I had no great desire to jump on this thread because I had discussed it enough with my wife over dinner. I thought in the context that if the young man had been talking with his friends and joking, then no real harm, as we have all done this at some point or another. In addition I'm sure that he had no clue what it really meant as some people are just ignorant of things like this. However, he will find out, probably in an uncomfortable way, that when you are at work there are certain things that probably shouldn't be said.
Nah, I left out background. My children are mixed as well. If someone used the "N" word around them they have every right to be offended and so would I. Same if I was a called a "N" lover,. What I don't understand is how caucasians are offended by the "N" word.
It's still up in the air whether african-americans are offended by the "N" word or if it's just a part of their culture now. However, african-americans are offended if someone outside the group uses the word.
Or how a straight person with nobody that's gay in their family is offended by the phrase, "That's gay" or a perfectly abled person is offended by the phrase, "that's retarded"
Let me just ask. Am I the only one that gets a laugh out of Dave Chapelle, Carlos Mencina, Southpark, Boondocks and the other equal opportunity hater comedy specials? If you laugh at the racial jokes and stereotypes that are in these shows but you're hammering someone because of a phrase or joke they say, wouldn't that make a you a hypocrite?
As I stated before, unless you completely sanitize your daily conversation...you're bound to offend someone no matter what...so I don't understand the hang up if someone uses, "that's jewed", "that's gay" and/or "that's retarded" Anyone can interpret anything as offensive. I do agree that the kid shouldn't have been using the phrase in such an enviroment. Just because it's not professional and someone could and did take a offense to it.
Lillaanya
19 years ago
After thinking on this incident a while, I am actually proud of Roz for having the guts to do something I'm not sure I would (and jealous over her having a Best Buy hehe) I think wether you are shocked/offended/disgusted/whatever at what was said, there is a huge difference between it being said by a customer just wandering the aisles or by a salesperson wearing the uniform of the store you are in and a name badge on thier chest. Wether they are making 6 figures or minimum wage, they represent that company and should be presenting a professional image...including the words that are coming out of thier mouth.
Vulash
19 years ago
I guess I don't understand why it's ok with friends but not working at best buy. I'm not sure what "professionalism" has to do with it other then tradition. We could easy be a society where salesmen and businesses were just open, blunt, and honest or any other number of things, but for some reason we have all these taboos that are inappropriate while we are at work, but ok otherwise - like hiding in the back by the water cooler. Why the facades?
I'm glad Bendir's little bit of comic relief came at my expense. Congrats on never once posting a meaningful post, and simply trying to be inflammatory at others' expense when you do post. Looks like you made the mods laugh so you'll get away with it again. Fuck you. I've said way less to people and I get fucking PMs. When you type it out? Sure "jew + ed" but when you hear it pronounced in 9th grade by some friend with music blasting and you're playign nintendo - you tend to not think about it that hard.
I'm glad Bendir's little bit of comic relief came at my expense. Congrats on never once posting a meaningful post, and simply trying to be inflammatory at others' expense when you do post. Looks like you made the mods laugh so you'll get away with it again. Fuck you. I've said way less to people and I get fucking PMs. When you type it out? Sure "jew + ed" but when you hear it pronounced in 9th grade by some friend with music blasting and you're playign nintendo - you tend to not think about it that hard.
Vulash
19 years ago
nm
Bendir
19 years ago
Maybe that white person had a son-in-law that was beaten to death because of his race and NIGGER was carved into his chest. Then perhaps his/her daughter committed suicide from the ensuing grief.
Maybe hearing that word makes them relive the violence and trauma of that horrible period in their lives that shattered their family forever.
Perhaps you should stop saying "how are white people offended by X and straight people offended by Y?" Individuals are offended by words, and their reasons can not always be known. But with a word with such a violent history, maybe its just best to never use it regardless of the company around you.
If anyone here thinks that when they hear a disparaging remark against their race/sex/whatever and claims they feel for the collective suffering of their people, thus negating my previous argument, then I'll punch you in the face right fucking now.
(Sorry about the serious post, Vulash)
Laney;70821
What I don't understand is how caucasians are offended by the "N" word.
Maybe that white person had a son-in-law that was beaten to death because of his race and NIGGER was carved into his chest. Then perhaps his/her daughter committed suicide from the ensuing grief.
Maybe hearing that word makes them relive the violence and trauma of that horrible period in their lives that shattered their family forever.
Perhaps you should stop saying "how are white people offended by X and straight people offended by Y?" Individuals are offended by words, and their reasons can not always be known. But with a word with such a violent history, maybe its just best to never use it regardless of the company around you.
If anyone here thinks that when they hear a disparaging remark against their race/sex/whatever and claims they feel for the collective suffering of their people, thus negating my previous argument, then I'll punch you in the face right fucking now.
(Sorry about the serious post, Vulash)
ROzbeans
19 years ago
It's not ok. Our friend Eric, you knew him as Daryl, Tim...he uttered that word IN MY HOUSE about 8 or 9 years ago. It was when he was still deciding on whether to be an uptight conservative republican or a red neck. He said it and I about hit him in the mouth and told him if he ever said that word in my house or around me again, it would come to blows.
Now you know we love Eric, this is the man who's family we would seriously considering putting Catherine with if something happened to Mike and I - so if I wouldn't let him say it, why should I let dude from Best Buy? Do I want to control what other people say when not around me? No, I can't but at a place of business? Fuck yes.
Vulash;70827
I guess I don't understand why it's ok with friends but not working at best buy.
It's not ok. Our friend Eric, you knew him as Daryl, Tim...he uttered that word IN MY HOUSE about 8 or 9 years ago. It was when he was still deciding on whether to be an uptight conservative republican or a red neck. He said it and I about hit him in the mouth and told him if he ever said that word in my house or around me again, it would come to blows.
Now you know we love Eric, this is the man who's family we would seriously considering putting Catherine with if something happened to Mike and I - so if I wouldn't let him say it, why should I let dude from Best Buy? Do I want to control what other people say when not around me? No, I can't but at a place of business? Fuck yes.
ROzbeans
19 years ago
Jesus fucking christ, Vulash...Bendir...FUCKING PLAY NICE. I will smack you both.
Vulash;70827
I guess I don't understand why it's ok with friends but not working at best buy. I'm not sure what "professionalism" has to do with it other then tradition. We could easy be a society where salesmen and businesses were just open, blunt, and honest or any other number of things, but for some reason we have all these taboos that are inappropriate while we are at work, but ok otherwise - like hiding in the back by the water cooler. Why the facades?
I'm glad Bendir's little bit of comic relief came at my expense. Congrats on never once posting a meaningful post, and simply trying to be inflammatory at others' expense when you do post. Looks like you made the mods laugh so you'll get away with it again. Fuck you. I've said way less to people and I get fucking PMs. When you type it out? Sure "jew + ed" but when you hear it pronounced in 9th grade by some friend with music blasting and you're playign nintendo - you tend to not think about it that hard.
Jesus fucking christ, Vulash...Bendir...FUCKING PLAY NICE. I will smack you both.
Bendir
19 years ago
This is pretty much the consensus among everyone that's ever met me, ever.
ROzbeans;70831
Jesus christ, Vulash. WTF? No one took anything Bendir said seriously - in fact you're the only person who actually reacted to it. I saw it for what it was, Bendir being Bendir - talking out his ass with sarcasm like Gylius. I'm not even friends with Bendir but I saw it as a much needed joke in a thread that could potentially get ugly. He gets away with jack shit because he doesn't say jack shit...Bendir you know what I mean. Crimey Tim, way to slap me in the face. =/
This is pretty much the consensus among everyone that's ever met me, ever.
Vulash
19 years ago
Being an ass consistenly doesn't make it ok over someone who's an ass once. I'll just exit the thread and we're all happy.
ROzbeans
19 years ago
Let's all go to our happy place.