If you've ever worked retail...

(It’s Halloween, and I’m dressed up as a vampire and wearing a pentacle necklace. The crew is planning on going out after work for a party.)
Me: “Did you find everything you needed tonight?”

Customer: “Yes, thank you. Can I just say that I think it was very nice of them to let you all dress up for tonight? I really like what you have on.”

Me: “Thank you, ma’am.”

Customer: “But don’t you think you took it a little too far?”

Me: “Uh… took what too far?”

Customer: “Well I understand that you’re supposed to be some type of vampire, but don’t you think that necklace is taking it too far?”

Me: “Oh, that. That’s not part of my costume, I always wear that.”

Customer: *loudly* “Well if you want to risk burning in H*** for wearing that devil worshiping symbol, that’s just fine with me… but they shouldn’t be letting you wear that here in a public place!”

Me: *sarcastically* “Well, why shouldn’t they let me wear it? After all, we all practice together and I’m the high priestess. In fact as soon as you leave, we’re gonna close up the store, start a bonfire in the parking lot, and then dance naked around it until dawn.”

Customer, to one of my managers: “Aren’t you going to do anything about what she said to me?”

Manager #1: “Yes, ma’am. As soon as you leave, we’re going to close the store.”

Customer: “THAT’S IT?!”

Manager #2: “Of course not, ma’am. You heard the rest of our… plans.”

(And with the kind of timing that only happens once in a lifetime, a stock boy unwittingly walks out of the back room while taking his uniform shirt off at the same time. The customer practically runs out of the store.)

it cracks me up how people think pentacles are devil worshiping items.

Me: “Hello, *** Music. How may I help you?”


Customer: “I was wondering if you had the sheet music for ‘Hero’.”


Me: “Mariah Carey?”


Customer: “No! Bette Midler!”


Me: “Oh! ‘Wind Beneath My Wings!’ Sure, we’ve got it!”


Customer: “Huh?”


Me: “The song is called ‘Wind Beneath My Wings.’ It’s one of the most popular vocal arrangements on the market.”


Customer: “No, it’s that one about her hero.”


Me: ”Yeah…” *sings* “… did you ever know that you’re my hero? You’re everything I wish I could be… I can fly higher than an eagle… and you are the WIND BENEATH MY WINGS.”


Customer: “Yes! That’s the one!” *sings* “‘Did you ever know that you’re my HERO!’ Can you hold a copy for me?”


Me, giving up: “Of course…”


(Later on…)

Coworker 1: “So, who was on the phone?”


Coworker 2: “… and why are they the wind beneath your wings?”

lol, nice one

I wear 3 around my neck :x

:lol

(Often I enter the beer cooler with shorts, a t-shirt and some rubber-hand work gloves on.)
Me: *walks out of the cooler*
Customer: “Are you f***ing insane? It’s freezing in there.
Me: “I don’t mind it.”
Customer: “That’s bulls***! You know it’s cold. Why would you lie to me?”
Me: “Excuse me? I’m pretty sure I know my own tolerance and I’m working so I get a bit warm, even in there.”
Customer: “WARM!? In a COOLER!? You’re a G**D*** LIAR! How can you be WARM in THERE!”
Me: “I’m Canadian, and ever since my igloo melted I only feel at home in there.”
Customer: “Oh, I didn’t know. I’m sorry for your loss.”

lol igloo!

I can sympathize with that one. I grew up in NY, and Texans still think I'm stupid for not feeling cold when it snows here.

In my life I've been asked if I lived in a hut (hawaii) or an igloo (alaska). People are stupid.

Living in phoenix all my life ive talked to people who were suprised to find out we didnt all wear cowboy hats, chaps and ride horses to get from place to place..


Though we did occasionally get tumbleweeds blowing down the street

I lived in NM for a couple years. I refused to learn what 'ropers' were. =x

Ooh, I've been in huts (Flipland) and an igloo (NY!). Haven't gotten to try religious compound here yet, though.

oh noes, jetamio! we're goin to hell!

and seriously, who the hell thinks arizona people wear cowboy hats? I never once saw one when i was there. AZ isn't really "cowboy" land at all to me.

Its really not.. I think they just picture the SW desert and connect it to clint eastwood or John Wayne movies *eyeroll*

No cowboy hats??? Sheesh, that was the only reason I had considered moving to AZ. Ferget it now! Next you'll tell me noone wears spurs, that jingle jangle jingle! *cries*

;)

how wrong. lol.

I finished all 126 pages of "archives" and have added it to my "Daily Sites" bookmark folder.

Great find and lots of laughs!

I thought the only people who wore cowboy hats all the time were people who live in Texas!?!?

But then I live in California...the land of fruits and nuts, where you see movie stars on every corner, and everyone is tan, and blond, and talks with that valley girl accent, or like a surfer dude...seriously! Party on!

Shyeah, whatevah!

omahgod totally!