1. Orcs versus Storm Troopers.
Fucking A, orcs for the win. Storm troopers seem too fragile where as orcs run around in loin cloths and are all buff and shit.

2. Han Solo versus Aragorn.
Oh please...Aragon is way too noble. I agree with slip, Han would seriously own playing dirty. Solo for the win.

3. Princess Leia versus Arwen.
6 words. Return of the Jedi prisoner bra.

4. C3PO versus Bilbo Baggins.
Bilbo. C3PO is honestly too prissy and would never see the upper cut coming.

5. R2-D2 versus Golum.
Electric tazer. D2 would zap Golum in the tee tee.

6. Boba Fett versus Eomyr (sp?).
I dont know who Eomyr is. =( Is that the guy who was in Chronicles of Riddick? I'd do him. Not that that infomation applies here. O_o

7. Gandalf the Gray versus old Obi-Wan Kenobi
/whistles - even tie. Maybe if I hadn't grown up in the 70's I'd say Gandalf but old Obi is a bad ass.

8. Legolas versus young Obi-Wan Kenobi
Legolas because he's fucking hotter. Young Obi just annoyed the hell out of me.

9. Darth Vader versus Sauron
Darth and his telepathic choke hold. Jedi Mind tricks - how cool is that??!

10. Peter Jackson versus George Lucas.
George because he looks better in a tux. O_o

1) Orcs - They have big axes and stuff, and everyone knows Stormtroopers always miss.

2) Aragorn - I think Hidalgo could catch up to the Millenium Falcon and then Aragorn is easily the better fighter.

3) Arwen - Leia was a bit whiney, Arwen could just shoot her with a bow or stab her or something then ride her across the waterhorsemen river, save her life, and kill her again.

4) Bilbo - C3PO is a coward he loses like every fight ever. Bilbo gets lucky sometimes and he would here because I think he would.

5) R2-D2 - He has no fingers to bite off for one, and R2-D2 is the shit.

6) Boba Fett - I don't even know who Eomyr is but Boba would win for sure.

7) This is tough, but I think Gandalf would win. He is pretty badass dual wielding staff + sword on top of his magic he never uses. Old Obi-Wan was more intersted in dying to the force to cuddle with Yoda imo.

8) Young Obi-Wan . All Legolas has is a mean shot with a bow and Obi-Wan could block all those before giving him a mean hair cut with a lightsaber which is worth then death for Legolas.

9) I think Darth Vader could beat Sauron's eye MAYBE, but not all of Sauron by any chance. Not even close Darth was kidn of fat and out of shape.

10) Peter Jackson. George Lucas got lucky.

3) Leia would fuck Arwen up being Vader's daughter.

9) Sauron without a ring was nothing more than a big vagina with too many orcs. Darth Vader for the win.

i've never seen any star wars movies so i dont know :(

BLASPHEMY!

I'm calling Chuck Norris right now and telling him that you haven't seen Star Wars.

You lose at being a geek for having never seen the original three films...

... but you win for having never watched Episode I.

/puts down phone as Chuck Norris says, "Hello? Zhavric, I told you to stop call... *click*

I guess it all evens out...

1. Orcs versus Storm Troopers.
Well despite running around nearly naked in some cases, I'd have to vote for the orcs.. after all they did a smashing good job of beating the fellowship in the first movie and weren't too bad as far as foes go in the later ones as well. Storm troopers do have that nice shiny white armor but it seems to be made of plastic ( oh wait...it IS made of plastic) They also aren't known for having very good aim and one hit seems to do them in.

2. Han Solo versus Aragorn.
I'd have to say Aragorn in a straight up fist fight. Han Solo would be too busy trying to fast talk his way out of it. Otherwise, well its not really a fair fight with Han carrying a blaster and Aragorn having a melee weapon.

3. Princess Leia versus Arwen.
Both did very little fighting so that's a hard call. I'd say Arwen though (probably because I like her better) but she seems more willing to do things herself than have some servant, body guard or other person rescue her. Also.. Leia seems to be in trouble a lot in the movies and Arwen did not have this misfortune.

4. C3PO versus Bilbo Baggins.
Is it a battle of wits? Still Bilbo either way.. though he might go mad from having to listen to C3PO's not stop yammering. I'd say Bilbo in a battle of wits because C3PO seems to have trouble acctually making decisions.. it usually fell to R2 D2 to get the two of them moving somewhere. In a physical fight it would probably still fall to the hobbit.. he seemed more than willing to fight dirty if he had to and C3PO was always a bit naive and easily taken by surprise.

5. R2-D2 versus Golum.
The Droid Dude.. who knows what all gadgets he's got in there..besides he's taken blaster fire from a ship's guns and has still managed to roll away.. smoking.. but rolling. Golum is pretty tough but its really no contest.

6. Boba Fett versus Eomyr (sp?).
Boba Fett. Crafty and with loose morals the honorable Rohirim wouldn't stand a chance.

7. Gandalf the Gray versus old Obi-Wan Kenobi
Gandalf... the guy took on a balrog and survived.. woops ass with a staff and is more active physically than some of the younger members of the Fellowship.. Obi Wan seems to like to talk about the good old days, has a hard time moving about in the first movie (certainly doesn't seem to be up for flying on eagles or riding on horse back across the country) and got himself killed in the first big fight. He doesn't come back to kick more butt either.. now he pokes around as a ghost and plays back seat driver to Luke through the next two movies.

8. Legolas versus young Obi-Wan Kenobi
Obi Wan.. he actually had the moves back then. Able to do flips, deflect blaster bolts ( so one would imagine arrows would be no problem) and didn't seem to feel the need to talk as much.

9. Darth Vader versus Sauron Sauron.. ..massive armies.. no body and only one ring can destroy him. *The better comparison here would have been the emporer and Sauron..btw*

10. Peter Jackson versus George Lucas.
George Lucas.. because he'd be all sneaky and wouldn't release his move until it was too late.. he's older, wiser and in better shape.

You know Brotzi?

1. Orcs versus Storm Troopers.
As long as your arn't talkinga bout the original troopers, the cloned ones, orcs easily. The only people stormtroopers got in the movies where civilians (Owen and Beru) Ewoks, or just as generic rebel troopers.
2. Han Solo versus Aragorn.
Han Solo. HE SHOT FIRST. He is a crack shot with his blaster, the best shot in the movies, besides *maybe* chewie.

3. Princess Leia versus Arwen.
Leia, although shie is whiney and had other people do most of her work CAN WE FORGET TEH DENTION BLOCK SCENE? she rocked storm troopers there...and on endor, she took out *2* in a blink o fthe eye...killing jabba. she rolls hard.
4. C3PO versus Bilbo Baggins.
Bilbo. Period.

5. R2-D2 versus Golum.
R2-D2 by far. Golum bites, R2 does EVERYTHING

6. Boba Fett versus Eomyr (sp?).
Fett. Rockets, wrist lazers, grappling hooks...read the books too, he blew up the sarlac

7. Gandalf the Gray versus old Obi-Wan Kenobi
Gandalf. Points already explained enough.
8. Legolas versus young Obi-Wan Kenobi
Young Obi. LEgolas was cool, but Obi was/is pretty mean.

9. Darth Vader versus Sauron
Vader. Vader wins against everyone, EVEN superman.

10. Peter Jackson versus George Lucas.
Lucas. He has ILM behind him,

1. Orcs versus Storm Troopers.

Storm Troopers. Hi Tech wins hands down. Blasters, bombs, and when all else fails, Death Star. Screw the orcs.

2. Han Solo versus Aragorn. Solo. Aragorn would be all noble and Solo would just shoot him from under the table.

3. Princess Leia versus Arwen.

Arwen would kick her ass, though Leia could counter if she ever learned to master the force.

4. C3PO versus Bilbo Baggins.

Bilbo. C3PO is a total puss.

5. R2-D2 versus Golum.
R2-D2. He'd shock the piss out of the little fish muncher.

6. Boba Fett versus Eomyr (sp?).

Bob Fett. Lots of tech goodies, and a willingness to kill.

7. Gandalf the Gray versus old Obi-Wan Kenobi

Probably a tie. Both serve the "good" side. The force versus an ancient wizard. Meh, a tie.

8. Legolas versus young Obi-Wan Kenobi
Tie

9. Darth Vader versus Sauron

Vader. A bunch of damn hobbits beat Sauron. Screw him. It took a rebel alliance and a change of heart to beat Vader.

10. Peter Jackson versus George Lucas.
Lucas. Jackson is a pasty faced geek.

1) Orcs vs Storm troopers: Orcs, if we are talking about the original movies and ST.

2) Han Solo vs Aragorn: Han Solo. The only thing Aragorn managed to do in the last movie was be lucky enough to wield a sword that scared some ghosts and they did his dirty work for him.

3) Princess Leia VS Arwen

I only have one thing to say.

Princess leia would smear her pretty lil ass all over the place. Arwen was beautiful, but thats about all she was good at. Sitting on a horse (or Aragorn) and looking pretty. Now if it was Eowyn Leia was up against, it would so be different. That cut scene from the last movie
("No man can kill me!!"

"I am no man!!" )
just rocked totall ass.

I think Eowyn would have been a much better comparison (and a much better fight.)

Unless Leia like cut off her hair or something, or broke a nail. Then it would be on!!

4) C3P0 and Bilbo - C3P0 would win. Hed talk Bilbo's ear off incestantly until Bilbo shot himself in the head or fed himself to an orc.

5) R2D2 and Gollum -- R2D2, I mean come on. Gollum was sneaky, but he is weak and never did any fighting, only a lot of bad mouthing. R2D2 kicks ass!!

6) Bobba Fett and Eomyr --- Bobba Fett. Boba Fett did some serious fighting.

7) Gandalf the Grey and old Obi Wan - Your kidding, right? Mr. The Grey would stick his staff so far up Obi Wans rear that the Fellowship could hang him up by his toes and use him for a disco ball for the "Fellowship Party" after they kicked Orc Butt.

8) Legolas vs Young obi wan - Obi Wan. Light Saber totally overrules Good looks and arrows.

9) Darth Vader vs Sauron - While Darths distraction techniques are sure to come in handy when throwing an enemy off guard

(Sauron! (whaaaa purrrr) I am your brothers uncles next door niegbors cats owners mailman!!! (whaaa puurrrr) )

Id still have to say Sauron. THat was one heck of an army he was building. Sauron: Kill em? why? Ill just have my evil minions do that!

10) Peter Jackson vs George Lucas -- Lucas. Just cause I like sabers. ))))

1. Orcs versus Storm Troopers.
Orcs for the win.
The Storm Troopers fire at the orcs. The Storm Troopers miss. The Orcs charge the Storm Troopers spurred on by what they've heard about how the Ewoks PWN3D the Storm Troopers. Confident that they are much cooler than ewoks, the orcs PWN the Storm Troopers, mocking them horribly as they slaughter them.

2. Han Solo versus Aragorn.
Draw.
"I have a castle and a knigdom."
"I have the fastest ship in the galaxy."
"I have a magic sword."
"I have a blaster rifle."
"I have a... you want to go get a beer."
"...Sure."

3. Princess Leia versus Arwen.
All the guys win.
Leia and Arwen go to fight one another. Leia tries to shoot Arwen, but only grazes her causing some of her clothing to rip/burn off. Arwen charges Leia and cuts at her with her sword, not injuring her, but causing her shirt to fly off. Leia blasts the sword out of Arwen's hands and Arwen leaps on Leia to stop from being shot. They roll around on the ground, scratching, pulling hair, and tearing off each other's clothing... Does it really matter which one comes out ahead? Any guy watching is the real winner...

4. C3PO versus Bilbo Baggins.
C3PO
Bilbo, weilding Sting and clad in his mithril shirt charges C3PO and begins hacking at him, but C3PO's metal body and bilbo's feeble hobbit arm make for some ugly dents, but little else. All the while, C3PO is talking to Bilbo. Bilbo eventually gives up and is bored to death by the droid.

5. R2-D2 versus Golum.
Golum
R2-D2 shows up ready for the fight, but Golum stays hidden. Unable to find Golum, R2 goes looking for him. Andy Serkis casually walks up to unsuspecting R2 and kicks him down the stairs. Golum then comes out and jumps around gleefully. Serkis then says, "Okay, I did it for you! Can I please have my career back!"

6. Boba Fett versus Eomyr (sp?).
Eomyr
From a tavern...
Solo: "What's that out there? Outside the window?"
Aragorn: *takes sip of ale* "Oh that?" *grimaces* "That's Eomyr violating Boba Fett's corpse."
Solo: *coughs on drink* "WHAT!? OMG WTF!!?!?!!11!! Fett has like a bajillion high-tech doo-dads in his armor. What's Eomyr got? A point-headed stick!?"
Aragorn: "You're right. Lord Eomyr does not pack more than but a spear and sword... yet, I have only seen him this mad once before... it was when one of the orcs shot his horse..."
Solo: *looks back out the window and blanches* "Oh that's just WRONG!"

7. Gandalf the Gray versus old Obi-Wan Kenobi
Gandalf
Gandalf takes out his sword and staff, which are promptly cut in half by Obi-Wan's light saber. "Give up. I have no wish to humiliate you."
Gandalf rolls his eyes, takes off his beard and hat, holds out his hand towards Obi-Wan and telekinetically grabs obi-wan's light saber and kills him with it. He walks over to Obi-wan's soon-to-be-corpse and says, "You poor deluded fool. Didn't anyone tell you that I also played MAGNETO?"

8. Legolas versus young Obi-Wan Kenobi
Legolas
Seeing that Obi-wan has The Force and a light saber on his side, Legolas quickly makes an entry on his blog which states that he'll make out with anyone who comes to his aid. Obi-wan is nearly INSTANTLY tramples to death by a massive wave of fan-girls and gay fanboys. Legolas grins, and then addresses the "task" of making out with thousands and thousands of hawt chicks (and men).

9. Darth Vader versus Sauron
Draw
"I am the Dark Lord of the Sith."
"I am the Dark Lord of Moria."
"I weild the power of the Dark Side of the Force."
"I weild the power of The One Ring."
"I have a light saber."
"I have a mace that can slay dozens of men at a time."
"You want to go get a beer."
"... sure."
"And will you just LOOK at who's in the bar..."

10. Peter Jackson versus George Lucas.
Peter Jackson
George Lucas shows up with his remaining, die-hard Star Wars fans. Peter Jackson shows up with all his Lord of the Rings fans and a sign that says, "If you're still angry about Jar-Jar, then join me!" Lucas is outnumbered 10 to 1 and loses.

LMAO!

Meesa tinks joosa hater, Zharvic!

/Approaches Jar-Jar with a odd looking pistol.

"This is a bowel-disruptor. It has three settings: loose, watery... and prolapse..."

*click*

*click*

*click*

*ZOT!*


/wakes up from fantasy dream

Uh! Wha! What are we talking about? I was having the most wonderful dream...

LMAO :lmao You're a sick man!







So... you fit right in.

*Goes off to buy Zharvic a Jar-jar t-shirt* When's your birthday?

That's an interesting conundrum:

As a gift from you, I would have to be respectful of anything you gave me.

As an image of Jar-Jar Binks, I'd HAVE to wipe my @$$ with it and fedex it to George Lucas.

My birthday is in June. Not 30 yet! w00T!

Well, at least you'd have put it to good use :winky

Alas, ours is coming up soon, we might just be 30..again.

Um...Who are all these people?



No I'm kidding. I just don't know enough about lore to make any sort of intelligable addition to this. However, don't let that stop the rest of you, these are funny as hell.

1. Orcs versus Storm Troopers.
Orc's for the win, Cause when you get down to it Stormtroopers are only good at getting shot and dying dramaticly and Orc's have Axe's and an Axe against Plastic blaster armor ain't pretty.

2. Han Solo versus Aragorn.
Han solo, Han would ditstract Aragorn while Chewbaca walked up behind him and bit his head off, Wookies are serious about their Life-Debts.

3. Princess Leia versus Arwen.
Draw, seconds into their fight they would realize their mutal attraction to each other and the XXX throwdown would ensue. FanBoys all over the world would dehydrate themselves.

4. C3PO versus Bilbo Baggins.
Draw - we'd never know cause after about 5 minutes of listening the 3PO yammer on and on and watching Bilbo look constipated and tired the audience would wander off.

5. R2-D2 versus Golum.
R2-D2, Golum would sneak up on him and start bashing him with a rock, which would have little to no effect, R2 would in turn zap his ass to oblivion.

6. Boba Fett versus Eomyr (sp?).
your kidding right? Boba Fett! this fight would last all of about 3 seconds.
he'd then pack the corpse onto Slave I and sell the Organs on the black market.

7. Gandalf the Gray versus old Obi-Wan Kenobi
Gandalf, he's got the athleticism, and he'd break Old Obi-Wan's hip and cancel his medicare for good measure.

8. Legolas versus young Obi-Wan Kenobi
Legolas, Cause he can stab you with an arrow and THEN Shoot you with it.

9. Darth Vader versus Sauron
Vader, cause all we ever see Sauron do is look at you then send minions to do his dirty work. Vader isn't too self-important to get his hands dirty.

10. Peter Jackson versus George Lucas.
Jackson by a hair. Angry Fan boys would drag them both off and Beat jackson mericlessly because he cut out Saruman's death scene and then burn Lucas at the stake cause Lucas brought us Jar-Jar AND the Ewoks.