You ever...

Every single day that I am me.

Goober :teehee

I swear I just had this exact same conversation with Marie today!

I demand pictures of you all preggers!

Not yet. But one day... one day.

/nod

When I walk through the sensor at a record store/bookstore exit, I become gripped with fear that it is going to beep.

Stop stealing then.

Maybe this was all just a strange twist of my brain, but this statement coming right after Mae's request for pictures of preggers caused a strange metal splicing of sorts that ended in the mental image of Saraquael pregnant :\.

haha me too, and i know im not stealing anything.

Or I am eating a restuarant and have no cash on me but i know i have plenty in the bank and i worry the whole time that my debit card isnt gonna work

life is good....

I love my God, I am where I want to be spiritually, continously growing...

I love myself, I think I'm pretty rad

I love my son, he rocks he is a happy bustly little 5 year old boy that loves me and laughs all day long, and we take turns reading every night before he goes to bed,,, (who could ask for more)

I love my job, I wake up everyday excited to see all my students and what I wlll teach them today *man they make me laugh*

I love my schooling. I get off work excited to see what I will be taught today. **General relativity is the shit**

I love my love, my other part, the one who hears continously about all the above and loves me everyday for it and tucks me into bed every night.

life is good...

No, I can't say that I have. What's there to do if there's nothing to bitch about? How do you live? Weirdness.

Happy people scare me. Pregnant people scare me too. The outbreaks of emotion in public... *meeps*




LMAO, I get that too. And I haven't even tried to shoplift anything since I was like... 9 or something. Wonder if there is an official name for it. Sensorbleepaphobia?

I assure you, while it is evident upon looking at me that I am pregnant, it is not evident that I am happily so ;) I'm tired and slow. I mutter a lot about going pee. PLENTY to bitch about.

Also, I never cry in public. I came from an upbringing where crying is a weakness...it is part of the reason that guys like Anulien can stomach being around me (Anu can be a mean fucker both in play and when he's being serious...he makes guys cry all the time...I laugh at them) . No public outbreaks of emotion from THIS pregnant woman...though for the others I will confess that pregnant women have more than good reason to have something to cry about. You'd cry too if something was doing the river dance on your spleen. It hurts like a mofo...I don't cry about it...but my unborn child has heard words that would make a pirate blush. And if you want more disgusting reasons why a pregnant woman has reason to cry I offer you the possibilities of hemoroids (which all the books describe as "clusters of grapes" in your butt...uh say what?), the words "mucus plug", the fact that you're horny all the time but your stomach is too big to have any sort of comfortable sex, and also the fact that the only pain saving device they have to offer us, the magical epidural, involves a foot long needle being shoved into your spine. I don't cry in public, but then again I've avoided the hemoroids so far (keep your grapes away from my ass thank you) and no one has shoved anything into my spine yet.

However, while not an openly emotional person...privately and to myself when I'm not irritated at how little sleep I'm getting and how many times I have to pee...I am very happily content ;) Especially after 11:00. Speaking to me before 11:00 am is a death sentence.

...

That's it, I am so getting something tied off or removed. Miracle of life my ass.

That's what I'm sayin.

The thing is. We moms all go through this, and yet we have more babies. Why? What ever hormones are released during birth somehow erase your memory of all the horrible things, and you just remember the nice things.

I start to think you know my pregnancies weren't bad at all. A little high blood pressure and a bit of trouble with my gallbladder, but the rest of the time was rather pleasant. Then I go back and read a page or two from my journal and go WTF? Pleasant?

Something in your brain makes you forget so that you will have more babies.

It's a love thing... I remember all " bad " things, the pain, the uncomfortableness and I remember the intense feeling like I was gonna

die

during labor, worse pain in the world, throwing up on the nurses, cause I demanded more ice ~! and they said take it slow! and i gobbled them down! throwing stuff around the delivery room and cussing up a storm.

but then you look at your baby and its like wow, all of that for this and somewhere along the line you think " it's worth it" then you start to think of it as a pleasant thing. Plus the anticipation while pregnant makes time go super slow and super fast all at once. i dont know its like love, if you make it through X amount of years married people always say the same thing " marriage is hard but you make it work and so on " its the effort you put into something, stuff that you put pain and sweat into you appreciate more.

Well...we don't all have more babies :).

But yeah, sometimes it all just comes together *nods*.

The baby moving is cool...even though sometimes he steps on things that are better left un-stepped on. And I know that he'll just be the most perfect child ever (yes, better than all of yours damnit! ;) ) so I know eventually it will be worth it...but man. Issues.

And the best part about it is the only people who understand it really are other women who have gone through it. I know my hormones make me irrationally quick to anger already...but what pisses me off more than anything else is when I say "man, I'm tired" or "man, I'm hungry" and my girlfriends who aren't/never been pregnant say "OH, ME TOO! I hardly slept at all last night" or "ME TOO! I need to eat!". I want to poke out their eyes while screaming YOU DON'T KNOW TIRED BITCH! I'LL SHOW YOU HUNGRY!! I had been complaining to Mike about it and he got a full demonstration when I told him I needed to eat NOW and he diddledallied for 15 minutes about what we should eat and I turned around and puked until I burst the blood vessels in my eyes. He was like oh, um, have a cracker.

LOL