Say Anything.

And I totally want a tummy tuck and boob job one of these days. Havin kids seriously wreaks holy hell on the body /nod

Did you try updating your motherboard drivers, Laschae?

I want a boob reduction but not a chance in hell of me having that kinda money anytime soon lol. And I haven't even had kids yet :(

I saw them do a boob reduction on tv once....I think I'll pass.

Welp I had to put vista on here again and other than my wifi adapter not working immediately everything else has been fine :) Now I just gotta update everything under the sun and try to remember passwords and shit =P

My father keeps a list of his passwords at his desk. He literally has a different password for every single thing he accesses on the internet. He is way more paranoid than I am.

I should probably have more passwords. Erik has ONE and I read an article recently of the top passwords hackers try and his was #8 lol. I told him he needs to change them all but he won't listen.

YAY V4 works again. This is what started the whole reformat thing. I went to go do my daily testing and load V4 and only A4 and G4 would inject and nothing else. Even after deleting V4 and reinstalling/initializing nothing was working. But YAY she takes her morphs again.

Frustrated mother rant inc...


History: My Sister in law has a 10 year old son, L. He is 7 months older than my son, Dale. For the first 5 years after Dale was born we lived a 10 hour drive away so not alot of contact with them. When we moved back to our house near L in 2005 the boys both started school together and were instant best friends as well as cousins.

Dale is a pretty normal kid, he likes football and sport and going to the beach. He also likes Stars Wars and computers, possibly a tad geeky if I am honest but it seems alot of kids now are technology savvy and "into games" more than I was at school. Dale and L used to play star wars make believe games using light sabers and such when they were little. I think this was allowed to carry on too long. Make believe games are fine for 5-6 year olds but by 2/3rd grade the other kids are going to start looking at you funny if you are constantly making light saber noises with your cousin.

So, Dale and L started getting teased at school for how they played together. Some kids would say "you playing with your boyfriend again" intimating a gay relationship. At 7 mind you... some kids amaze me but that's life in a modern primary school.

Well, last year, Dale had a really rough time of it. First up was the evil teacher I ranted about before. She got moved after a term and he got a really great teacher that he really liked so that was great. But it seemed the damage was already done as far as the playground goes. The boys that used to tease Dale and L started it up again and Dale reacted by getting mad and throwing punches or crying depending on how intense the teasing was. Dale certainly didn't make it better for himself by his reactions... it just gave the kids more ammo.

L then started playing with the kids who were doing the teasing. Dale would go over to try and play with them and the kids would say he couldn't play unless he knew the password, so he would start trying to guess it and of course never get it right but he wasn't sophisticated enough to see they were just trying to wind him up. L was an active participant in these episodes.

It brewed for the second half of last year, on the last day of school the boys went to a movie theater for their end of year party. After the movie, Dale went over to L and L told him to go away because he was gay. Dale started crying and L and his two friends started teasing him calling him cry baby etc. Dale apparently threw a stick at them in anger and ended up in trouble with the teacher.

This episode caused us to cancel the planned family xmas with the inlaws the following week. The kids had no contact with each other for the whole summer break until the second last day when the inlaws came over on Australia Day as we had months ago planned a camping trip to happen starting today, the 29th. The kids played ok and so we determined to go ahead with the camping.

School started back yesterday. Dale, bless him, despite strong counsel from both his parents that L was NOT a good friend and should be avoided at school, approached L during the lunch break and asked if he could play. L said something to the effect that "his mum told him that he wasn't allowed to play with him". The two boys L was with then made blocking gestures and chanted go away, you can't play at Dale. Dale apparently started chanting "friend" at L and said "you were my friend when you came over on Australia Day, don't you remember that" and L then went to the teacher and said Dale was annoying him.

The teacher took Dale aside, Dale started telling his version, started crying because he still thinks his cousin is his best friend and doesn't get that the kid is a fucktard.The teacher set Dale up to play with another boy and lunch continued.

When hubby got home I related all this and he had a lengthy phone call with his sister. The camping trip is off and we are back to no contact with the cousins again. Dale is distressed because he wants everything back to normal.

I know that you can't force kids to be friends. I am just hurting because my kid is hurting and I don't know how to fix it. If it wasn't his cousin I know I would be at the school in an instant to get some intervention happening but... it's family and the relationships are more complicated than just your regular school yard kids teasing each other.

If I had it over I would never had started Dale in the same school, or the same grade as his cousin. Someone tell me I will cope. It's getting hard to not cry infront of the kids and it is breaking my heart to see my once happy son so sad.

Don't girls do stuff like this growing up? This sounds pretty normal to me. Dale will find some way to compensate, while learning a valuable life lesson (people are assholes), and everything will be flowers and sunshine ;)

Pharren I think girls can be more...intimate is the wrong word, but you know what I mean...without being accused of teh gay.

I don't know that there's anything wrong with making lightsaber noises with your friend - hell, my husband and my brother in law still do that.

Of course, we also make cracks about them being secret boyfriend lovers all the time. So. Huh.

Anyway! It's a shame your family event got canceled. I do trips with both my family and my inlaws (separately) and the relationships involved can get really complicated. I hope something gives. Maybe the teacher could help in some capacity, at least keep an eye on the situation.

Well, what does your sister in law have to say about L's behavior? Doesn't sound like the little shit is getting any discipline. And as for lightsaber noises, Catherine's 10 and plays crazy like that with Mike and he's almost 37 =x Honestly it sounds like elementary school - kids can be shits and it's a mob mentality. It's hard to tell your kids to not sweat the small stuff, even though as children we were probably even more devastated than our kids are feeling. It's easy to forget how fucking traumatic school is growing up, I guess.

I'd look to the sister in law and honestly - blame her. Next time you see L, I'd pull that little shit aside and quietly tell him you'll break every bone in his god damn body if he fucks with Dale again. Then deny everything. It worked for mom when some kid harassed me in school. I'm kidding, don't do that - but god willing they'll grow out of it and L will look back and remember how much of a shit he was to Dale. Still, I'd have a long, severely tense conversation with the sister in law.

I just got home from dropping the kids off at school. While I was there I had a talk with the Deputy Principal. Right now I feel like a complete failure as a parent and can't stop crying. She basically told me that she has identified Dale as being socially inadequate and needs special counselling. She said the problem is all Dale and L is blamefree. She said she placed Dale in a class with a special ed teacher specifically to deal with his behaviour. Am I just stupid or blind or what? I don't know what to think about what she said. I am appreciative that she is taking a special interest in helping Dale, but fuck... why did it wait till year 5? She said she was feeling this all last year, why did she not approach us then? I have been grappling with Dale and the problem with L for 2 years and now they tell me its not L, its Dale who has the problem. I feel sick and alone. My husband is at work, its 9.30am and I feel like I am tilting at windmills in my soul. It is my first real day of kids back at school and I wanted to work on my FTLoS assignment but I have no creative spark to fan now. I just want it to be better. I want to scream at everything and nothing. I just don't know how to deal with this.

That sounds like a bunch of bullshit to me. How can it be your son's fault that other kids are making fun of him? That makes no fucking sense whatsoever.

=/ Well, if Dale has special needs, Tam, there's nothing wrong with that. We all want our children to be ... I guess 'perfect' or at least what we perceive to be. Socially, academically...you at least know there is an issue. Doesn't make you a bad parent and it sure as hell doesn't mean there's something 'wrong' with Dale. Take the knowledge and consider speaking to a family counselor or his pediatrician. If there is a problem, they'll help identify it. I still say L is being a little prick. Unfortunately the whole 'boys will be boys' mentality is prevalent despite what country you live in these days. That little shit needs a good smack.

Don't let it make you feel like a failure. As a parent we ALL struggle. Lord knows I do. Catherine's gotten in the habit of lying. A lot. The first thing out of her mouth is a lie - like it's automatic. You think you feel like a failure? lol Take it one day at a time, Tam, and consult your family doctor. It wouldn't hurt. /hug =)

I agree with this, and agree that you should talk to the sister-in-law. They are cousins, and the little brat needs to show some respect. You're supposed to stick up for your family, no matter what, not tear them down. They don't have to be friends, but they really shouldn't have to be enemies, either.

Thanks Roz and Pharren. I will go make a coffee and do some deep breathing and get positive about it. Better that we get any drama sorted now before high school right?

I had this arguement with my teachers every fucking day! They told ME just to ignore the others, and I'm like lets see you ignore all the shit that gets thrown at me. Seriously, how can you ignore everything people say about you? Especially when everyone is saying it, even you're so called friends. Grrrrrr

I don't get it. principle said he was "socially inadequate and needs special counselling".. just because he's not a bully and isn't in a little boys 'clique' like L and the other boys? Oh puhlease.. Thats just fucking stupid.

Tam.. you shouldn't feel like a failure..if anything you should feel proud for not raising a bully. :)

pics plz kkthx

Maybe they're only seeing one side of the interactions; Dale acting out. L probably acts like a little angel when adults are around. If you are concerned, I would get a second opinion... like a doctor, not some shmuck assistant principal who just graduated college with a 2.0 average.