Say Anything.
'Say Anything' is a John Cusak/Cameron Crowe 1989 teen flick. ' A noble underachiever and a beautiful valedictorian fall in love the summer before she goes off to college.' This is actually not what this thread is about, but the message is the same.
Actually no it isn't, I just like imdb.com and the title sounded interesting. /snort
This is not necessarily a vent thread - far from it. This is about saying anything - weather, the bird outside your work window, the fundamental differences between Mormons and catholics, how Law and Order Criminal Intent doesn't get the props it deserves, that I always forget whether it's 'it's' or 'its', that my daughter has a beautiful smile and the first guy that breaks her heart - I'm breaking his knees...it's about anything.
So, say anything.
So, on the airplane, sitting on the runway, the power suddenly goes out all over the plane. I say "Well that's a bad sign...", and nobody else said anything. The entire plane was silent. It was like the Twilight Zone or something and time had frozen, except people were still moving around. I took another Xanax on top of the 2 time-release ones I took when I woke up, the 2 I had taken on the way to the airport, and the 1 I took while waiting at the terminal. The power comes back on and the captain announces that he needs to reboot the engine on the right wing. Seriously. He said something about sometimes this happens and computer glitches and sometimes you just need to reboot it and it goes away. I wondered if they had just grabbed some random tech support guy and told him "You've played enough Microsoft Flight Simulator; now you get to try the real thing".
So with the Xanax and the Percocets and the two glasses of Bailey's, running on 2 hours of sleep, I started getting really tired on the plane. I read a few chapters in my book and I don't remember a damn thing. I kept nodding off. Now I have to reread those chapters.
I haven't been to Michigan since 2002 or so, and I have never driven anywhere here, so I really have no idea where anything is in relation to anything else. Knowing that my aunt lives in Livonia doesn't help me when I don't know how to get to Livonia from Detroit. Also, my cousin was cheap and just sent 1 invitation to my parents, and invited them plus me and my sister on it. And I didn't bother to write down the address of the place. So, with no phone, I started to panic.
I got to the car rental place, and asked the guy who was helping me if there was an AT&T store around so I could replace my phone. He looked up a few numbers, and the first 3 I called were disconnected, and the 4th was just for setting up internet service. I said fuck it, and rented a GPS too. The guy was really cool, and was training this girl, so while he was showing me my car, she was looking up AT&T stores online and before I left gave me a list of them and found the nearest one with the GPS. I started unloading some stuff and the guy saw my reggae CDs and told me he was from Jamaica, so we started talking in patois for a bit and then I left.
Drove for an unknown amount of time (because I was still falling asleep) to the phone store, getting misdirected by the GPS and actually finding it on accident. Of course, they don't carry the phone I have anymore. I said that was okay because I'd like to get a smart phone anyways... but NO!! I'm on a family plan with my parents and my sister and her ex-husband (wtf?), and I'm not an "authorized user", so I can't make any changes to the price plan or whatever. To upgrade my phone, I needed the last 4 digits of my mother's SSN, which I don't know. So they let me use their phone and I tried to call her... but she was still on her own plane to MI. Fuck. I gave them a $30 deposit and they gave me a shitty temporary phone and I left. This was dumb because the place was by the airport, which is about an hour from my hotel. Drove to the hotel while trying to stay awake and cursing out the GPS.
Got to the hotel, and the window shades were fucked up and wouldn't close all the way. I climbed up on the window sill using the nightstand as a step ladder, and fixed them as well as I could. Hooked up my laptop and couldn't get on the internet. DNS was resolving but I kept timing out. I spent a long time over 3 separate phone calls to their tech support and 2 trips to the front desk (they gave me an ethernet cable to try that instead of wireless) before the manager gave me his own laptop to try out. The internet worked fine with his computer, so I tried mine using IE instead of Firefox, and it worked. WTF? Firefox was set up to use a proxy server by default? That... doesn't seem right. Increase paranoia by 30% and take another Xanax. Also, the air conditioner wouldn't shut off using the "auto" setting, so even though I turned it to 80 degrees, it was still running, and it was like 50 degrees in the room.
Finally got through to my mother and had her call AT&T to add me as an authorized user. She called me back and said I was added... but I'd still need to use her SSN. What the shit? Drove back to the AT&T store, an hour away in an unfamiliar car in an unfamiliar state, punching myself in the leg the whole way to stay awake, and cursing at the GPS. Bought an expensive ass phone and probably increased my monthly bill by like $100. I was too tired to give a shit. I bought a bag of chocolate-covered pretzels (the only food I'd eaten all day) at the CVS next to the AT&T store, and drove the hour-long trip back to my hotel.
I was awake for the first half of the trip, I guess from all the sugar, but crashed hard and was just about snoring in between curses at the GPS, which somehow totally fucked me up and drove me right past the entrance to my hotel. Stupid fucking thing was then like "turn left in 0.1 miles", so I get into the left lane, but not quick enough to make the left turn. "Recalculating... turn right in 0.1 miles". Get into the right lane and miss the turn. I said to hell with this shit and just kept driving straight until I reached an intersection, all the while the thing was like "Recalculating... turn left in 0.1 miles. Recalculating... turn left in 0.1 miles". So I turned at the intersection and was finally able to make one of the turns it was telling me to make, and it drove me through some residential area, got on 2 or 3 different highways, and finally ended up back at the hotel, totally lost and confused. It added an extra 30 minutes to my trip, just because I missed the entrance to the hotel. Never using a GPS again.
Got back to the hotel finally and realized I'd forgotten to buy a case of bottled water. Fuck it. I went to bed at 9:30 PM. Woke up at 5:30 AM and I'm tired already. If anything else goes wrong on this trip, I'm going to start breaking random things/people.
I guess that's enough ranting for now.
PS: I hate weddings
Welcome to Michigan =) Have fun navigating through our construction =p That should add to you xanax count!
Why do you need a case of water? Its not Mexico you can drink the water here I promise your safe!
I used to read the shit outta some Christopher Pike back in the day. There was this book store in o ur mall that I would hit up when I was like 12-13. Dunno wtf my mom thought letting me roam all over town like that.
I want bottled water because I don't feel like keeping a crappy little spillable plastic hotel cup by my laptop or on the nightstand. I dunno. Kind of habitual now, I guess. Everything I drink comes in a can or a bottle. Tap water in FL isn't usually very good.